tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62344457743554461842024-02-06T22:39:54.072-05:00Habs LaughsA comedic take on the Montreal Canadiens.
Seriously.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger74125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6234445774355446184.post-5588554377625503472013-05-25T18:35:00.005-04:002013-05-25T18:35:56.974-04:00Puck Daddy-Sens EulogyA little while ago Andrew Berkshire of <a href="http://www.habseyesontheprize.com/">Habs Eye On The Prize</a> approached me and asked me to help him write the Puck Daddy Eulogy for
the Ottawa Senators. Obvioulsy I said yes and we started it 2 weeks
before they lost to the Pens because we're prepared douchebags. Here's
the Eulogy, enjoy!<br /><br />
<a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nhl-puck-daddy/eulogy-remembering-2012-13-ottawa-senators-190501244.html">http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nhl-puck-daddy/eulogy-remembering-2012-13-ottawa-senators-190501244.html</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6234445774355446184.post-8697928960453312292013-03-25T18:30:00.003-04:002013-03-25T20:13:11.321-04:00NHL House Sigils<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
So I'm a pretty large fan of the Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones series...and I am also a pretty large fan of the NHL. I thought I'd combine the two by creating a house Banner and Sigil for each NHL team. I hope you enjoy! Shout out to twitter user @habarnac for the link to the Banner maker. </div>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6234445774355446184.post-56672226731088494332013-03-24T15:18:00.002-04:002013-03-24T15:37:26.799-04:00So I went to a Hockey game in the UK...<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</xml><![endif]-->So I went to a Hockey game in the UK...<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As you probably know, (mainly because I don’t stop complaining
about the time change) work has relocated to me to the UK. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have been over
here since the beginning of January and over the past few months I have been
enjoying and immersing myself into the British culture and definitely not
spending my time watching hours and hours of Hockey highlights that I couldn’t
watch live. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This isn’t going to be a long complaint riddled dissertation
about a Hockey starved expat who stays up until 3 AM to watch the Habs/Devils
game…no…this is going to be complaint riddled dissertation about a Hockey
starved expat who stays up until 3 AM watching the Habs/Bruins game. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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The Devils are boring. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Seriously though. Life hasn’t been too terrible from a
Hockey perspective because of this fancy new invention called the internet
(which apparently is sticking around). </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The only thing that I really miss is going to the Bell
Centre and watching a live game. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Michel Lacroix giving me Goosebumps, Charles Prevost-Linton
making me wish I could pull of a perm, Coldplay putting me into a trance that I can
only compare to what I assume doing Meth feels like. The expensive hot dogs,
the expensive pizza and the inexplicable lack of Poutine, the meetings with my
financial advisers months in advance to work out a budget plan then figuring
out I have to take out a loan, sell my condo in that up and coming neighborhood
near the Bureau En Gros near Namur Metro that is still being built, selling my certified
pre-owned 2002 Dodge Neon that I just bought 3 weeks ago just to buy a can of Molson
Ex. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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And also the Hockey or whatever. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Good times.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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If someone tells me they started serving Poutine I’ll be on
the next flight back. </div>
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</div>
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I figured I’d be the only Hockey fan for miles so you can
imagine I felt just like residents of Tampa when they found out they had a
Hockey team just after their Stanley Cup win when I found out that someone I
work with and her husband are Hockey fans and go to games on occasion. </div>
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<br /></div>
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It took
about 2 months of jokingly talking about going to see a game before we
started seriously talking about it. Short story short we bought 3 tickets to see
the Coventry Blaze host the Belfast Giants do
battle.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Coventry is about an hour north of Oxford, where I’ve been camping
out during my stay here. </div>
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<br /></div>
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It wouldn’t be the first time I’d drive an hour to see
a Hockey game because for the past few years I have driven from the Miami area
to middle of nowhere Sunrise, Florida to watch the Habs play the Panthers. Nice
rink, absolute middle of nowhere. Worse than Kanata. </div>
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<br /></div>
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They play in the EIHL aka the Elite Ice Hockey League which is the UK’s top
Hockey League. </div>
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<br /></div>
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It has 10 teams mainly located in Northern UK of which, along
with the two I mentioned above, are the league leading Nottingham Panthers (wasted
opportunity to call themselves the Sheriffs) and the Cardiff Devils where
Biznasty scored 21 points in 11 games during the lockout. (the most recent one)</div>
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<br /></div>
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I don’t want to talk too much about the teams themselves
because if you wanted to know you can use that thing called the internet to find out but I will
go into it a little bit.</div>
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<br /></div>
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The majority of both rosters are Canadian sprinkled with
random European players as well as a few UK talents. </div>
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<br /></div>
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From the one game I watched, the Giants notables were Andrew
Fournier (4 years with Plymouth in the OHL, bounced around the ECHL for a few
years) and Chad Langlais (U of Michigan, bounced around the minors). Theo
Fleury played for the Giants during the 05-06 season. He scored 74 points in 34
games. </div>
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<br /></div>
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For the home team Coventry Blaze, their notables were Captain
Shea Guthrie (drafted in the 3<sup>rd</sup> round by the Islanders in the 2005
draft) and 6’4 Adam Henrich (2<sup>nd</sup> round pick of the Lightning in the
2002 draft).</div>
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<br /></div>
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The Giants beat the Blaze 4-2 which was a bummer for the
home crowd fans in the mostly packed 3,000 seat Coventry Skydome. This was definitely not a bummer for the 40ish Giants fans who came in all the way from Belfast to watch their beloved team. They sat in the away fan section much like you would find at a Football/Soccer game. This was awesome and NHL rinks need to adopt this concept. I was
surprised when the arena filled itself but was even more surprised to find that
on top the stands being full the team also allows fans to cram up against the
glass and watch the game from there. Scary close.<br />
<br />
The Blaze fans were fantastic. Not only knowledgeable but frantic, excited and passionate. They individually and collectively pointed out shortcomings and cheered on their team's success. Massive ups to the fans in Coventry, you impressed me more than anything else. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The quality of the game was what you would expect. I’m not
going to sugar coat anything, it was far from the best Hockey I’ve seen but you
could tell that the majority of the players there really cared and were playing
out of a combination of necessity and love for the sport. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Giants were the better team without question. They had
properly executed plays, a solid system and the talent to pull it off. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The
Blaze were a step behind but they held their own. They are definitely aware
that Guthrie and Henrich were their two best players that night and did what
they could to build around that. The one breakout that didn’t involve the
defenseman launching the puck from behind his own net to a winger at the far
blue line for a tip in then chase resulted in a Guthrie snipe that was the goal
of the night.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Blaze definitely held their own and dominated the early
goings of the game but just couldn’t keep up with what I assume is a much
better Giants team (23 points ahead of them in the standings).</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now enough about the game, hope I didn’t lose you. Time to
focus on the atmosphere, the qualities that made this game undeniably British
and the similarities that unified the game with its North American counterpart.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We walked in during the warm-ups. We spent the first 5
minutes trying to spot former Hab Gregory Stewart, who currently plays for the
Giants. Turns out he was scratched which ruined my plan of banging on the glass
like a 5 year old for ten minutes hoping to get his attention and show him the
Habs shirt that I was wearing. Lame. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After that the first thing I noticed was the rafters. Turns
out the Blaze have a history and they’re not opposed to honoring it just as any
NHL team would, by hanging up banners in their rafters. They had about 15
banners commemorating championship teams and retired numbers. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We did a tour of the rink, past the concessions that sold
tea, coffee, hot dogs and curry. Yes, curry, which was a shade of red so loud
it would have made Lindy Ruff proud. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We also stepped into the arena Bar…called
Crosby’s. Definitely not a coincidence. The bar had a good vibe and had a Bob
Probert Wings Jersey hanging next to an Islanders Fisherman Jersey. I am not
making this up, best bar décor I’ve ever seen. I challenge you to find a bar
with better jerseys hanging in it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We had accidentally bought my favorite seats (about 15 rows
up in the corner) so I was happy when we sat down and took in the end of the
warm-up. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now about the jerseys. They were decked out in sponsorships
which was expected but what I thought was a nice touch was the Blaze players
sporting patches of their home country on their chest. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When the game was about to start the lights cut out and a
light show that I can only compare to Saturday night at Rose Bowl (Disco
Bowling for you non-Montrealers) started. After that the game’s Emcee skated
onto the ice in jeans and got the crowd riled up with the mascot (when I say “Coventry”
you say “Blaze”) </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I went over the game itself above but I want to mention some
quirks that I found made the night that much better.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Halfway through the first period: “Will the owner of a
silver Insert Car Name Here please go to the ticket counter immediately.” That blew
my mind. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Danish Blaze Goalie Peter Hirsch had a mask that resembled
the one that Carey Price wore during the last Heritage Classic. Freaked me out
every time he made a save.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Every time the Giants scored the DJ would play songs
appropriate to the situation including “It’s The End Of The World As We Know It”
and “That don’t Impress Me Much”.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Halfway through the second period they played a punk version
of The Hockey Song. RIP Stompin Tom. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-There was a surprising amount of NHL merchandise in the
stands including: Two Leafs jerseys, two Bruins jerseys, 4 Penguins jerseys, a
Rangers jersey, a Sharks jersey, a Red Wings jersey and hat, a Chiefs Hansen
jersey and a little kid wearing a Ryan Miller Sabres jersey that I beat up
because the Habs played the Sabres last night and I don’t mess around.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Outside of the game itself the most entertaining parts of
the night were the intermissions. During the first intermission they had a Tug
of War. I’m not shitting you here, they actually had Tug of War on the ice. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Within the first 2 seconds half of one team had hilariously fallen down and was
being dragged by the other team while feebly trying to get up. I should
probably mention that the Benny Hill theme song was playing throughout the
duration of the war thus culminating the most British thing I’ve ever seen in
my entire life. It was fantastic, kudos to the Blaze, everyone loved it. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
During the second intermission they put on what they called
the Duck Chuck. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Duck Chuck is what the play that Charlie Conway drew up in
D2 should have been called. What a waste. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The real Duck Chuck
consisted of people trying to throw Rubber Duckies into kiddie pools located on
the ice surface. It was very yellow. Nobody won. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The thing that I found the most interesting about the night
had to do with a sponsorship angle that I had never seen before. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This would make Michael Yormark drool all over his middle of
nowhere arena. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Each Blaze player was individually sponsored. Whenever they
mentioned that player in any capacity (goal, assist, penalty etc.) they
mentioned the sponsor before and after. I can definitely see some NHL teams
doing this and I want a cut if this blog is the reason behind it. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Overall an awesome night in Coventry. I would definitely go
back seeing as it only made me want to watch more live Hockey.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Good on the Blaze organization for putting on a good game
for the fans, good on the teams for playing for it all given their
circumstances. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Oh, and the reffing was absolute horse shit. It’s not just a
North American thing. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6234445774355446184.post-10174687705829169062012-09-13T14:59:00.000-04:002012-09-13T14:59:03.571-04:00Tweet Tens<u><b><span class="il">Tweet</span> <span class="il">Ten</span> things Youppi! will do during a lockout. </b></u><br /><br />10. Shave<br />
9. Become Geoff Molson's personal Butler. <br />8. Appear in a series of Sesame Street episodes playing Elmo's Canadian cousin. <br />7. Participate in Survivor: Mascot Island<br />6. Rent himself out as a pillow for hire. <br />
5. Learn to talk. <br />4. Will become the Alouettes Mascot after EndZone and Blitz mysteriously disappear. <br />3. Brag about being one of 3 Mascots in the MLB Hall of Fame<br />2. Haunt Jeffrey Loria. <br />1. Write an autobiography entitled: 50 Shades of Orange<br />
<br />
<u><b><span class="il">Tweet</span> <span class="il">Ten</span> new Features found in NHL 13</b></u><br />10. The Edmonton Oilers now have the ability to draft defensemen. <br />9. Find the hidden Easter Egg that lets you push Gary Bettman down a flight of stairs. <br />8.
Enter the code "daddyhelps" to lower penalty frequency for your team
and raise it for your opponents-Only available while playing with the
Bruins. <br />
7. New realism while playing with Toronto: Make any trade you want to make, still finish 13th or worse. <br />6. Be A Pro mode now let's you choose whether or not you want to go to a bar at 2AM during the playoffs. <br />
5. Be A GM Mode now has a "automatically the siblings of your star players" feature.<br />4. Choose Your Own Adventure CBA negotiations mode!<br />3.
Integrate your game with NBA and Madden titles to make sure the other
teams in your city lose so you become the most popular team in town. <br />
2. Gauthier Mode-Your players disappear during games and the game itself costs $2000<br />1. Press ABAB after winning or losing a playoff series with Montreal to enter Fan Riot Mode. <br />
<br />
<u><b><span class="il">Tweet</span> <span class="il">Ten</span> Soccer Celebrations.</b></u><br /><br />10. The Thierry Henry: Scores then refreshes himself by drinking a water bottle full of Irishmen's tears. <br />9. The Cristiano Ronaldo: Scores then kisses his own feet.<br />8. The Diego Maradona: Scores then thanks the big man upstairs.<br />
7. The Ronaldo: Scores then eats an entire Birthday Cake. <br />6. The Landon Donovan: Scores then goes on a rant about how more people should pay attention to MLS.<br />5. The Fernando Torres: Scores then signs with another team for 3 times the money he's currently making. <br />
4. The Lionnel Messi: Scores then performs open heart surgery while jumping over the grand canyon on a skateboard.<br />3. The Frank Ribery: Scores then continues to be the world's biggest badass. <br />2. The Mario Balotelli: Scores then punches the goalie in the face<br />
1. The David Beckham: Scores then makes out with Posh Spice for 45 minutes<br />
<br />
<u><b><span class="il">Tweet</span> <span class="il">Ten</span> Clauses Included in Max Pacioretty's Deal. </b></u><br /><br />10. $5 per twitter follower.<br />9. Unlimited access to the Youppi costume, no questions asked.<br />
8. 8 Free wings from Cage Aux Sports every time the team scores 5 goals. <br />7. All of his goals must be announced by The Rock. <br />6. Penthouse in the Tours Des Canadiens. <br />
5. If injured, he gets full control of the goal horn. <br />4. One Million Dollar Bonus every time he defies all odds and makes us feel awesome inside. <br />3. No Lockout Clause? Worth a try.... <br />2. A No Trade Clause for Erik Cole <br />
1. Season tickets for life for Mike Obrand AKA Habs Laughs. <br />
<br />
<u><b><span class="il">Tweet</span> <span class="il">Ten</span> Excuses given by the Norwegian Referee in the Canada/USA Semi Final.</b></u><br /><br />10. You think I'm going to piss off Obama? <br />9. I was told that I can't let Maple Leafs fans experience winning. <br />
8. Someone needed to get that country off of their Vancouver 2010 high horse<br />7. I hate Justin Bieber<br />6. They told me they would let Norway win at something... <br />5. I spent the entire match watching Dressage on my iPhone. <br />
4. I was promised a Disneyland in Oslo!<br />3. I am terrified of Abby Wambach<br />2. I am equally terrified of Hope Solo<br />1. I'm Norwegian, I just found out what Soccer was like 2 hours ago.<br />
<br />
<u><b><span class="il">Tweet</span> <span class="il">Ten</span> Improvements to Olympic Events.</b></u><br /><br />10. Blindfold Archery<br />9. Shark infested Water Polo<br />8. 400 Meter running of the bulls.<br />7. Buttered Pole Vault<br />6. Javelin catch<br />5. Slamball<br />4. Pommel actual horse<br />
3. Quadrathalon: Swimming, Biking, Running, <br />2. Alcoholic beverage Table Tennis AKA Beer Pong<br />1. Lightsaber Fencing <br />
<br />
<u><b><span class="il">Tweet</span> <span class="il">Ten</span> fake Rick Nash quotes spoken after his trade to New York</b></u><br /><br />10. "Pinch me!"<br />9. "Pinch me again!"<br />8. "So this is what happiness feels like"<br />7. That's all you got for me?"<br />6. "So...can I win now?"<br />
5. "Wisniewski wanted me to ask you if he can come too"<br />4."When you say I've been traded to New York...you mean the Rangers right?"<br />3."I'd like to thank the fan in Columbus for his continuous support"<br />
2."Please inform Team Canada that I will be unavailable for next year's World Hockey Championship"<br />1. "Yes I definitely do believe in God"<br />
<br />
<u><b><span class="il">Tweet</span> <span class="il">Ten</span> Donald Fehr reactions to the NHL's CBA proposal.</b></u><br /><br />
10. I'll tell you when he stops laughing.<br />
9. I need to write them back, are there one or two Ps in "Work Stoppage"?<br />
8. Hey everyone! Come and see this hilarious fake CBA proposal Bettman just sent me!<br />
7. Why is this handwritten in crayon?<br />
6. That's it. I'm changing our Facebook relationship status to "Complicated"<br />
5. At least we see eye to eye on the "we both want more money" issue.<br />
4.It appears as though the NHL owners are all on crack<br />
3. Are you Franzen kidding me?<br />
2. Who taught this guy how to negotiate? Montreal Students?<br />
1. I guess Bettman is as dumb as he looks.
<br />
<br />
<div>
<u><b><span class="il">Tweet</span> <span class="il">Ten</span> Little known facts about the MLB Home Run Derby</b></u></div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
10. The gold balls weren't actually gold. </div>
<div>
9. The fans weren't booing Cano because because he's a Yankee...oh wait...yes they were. </div>
<div>
8. One of Trumbo's bombs is still in orbit. </div>
<div>
7. $615,500 was donated to a suspicious charity called "definitely not Bud Selig's bank account"</div>
<div>
6. When asked about his 1 HR Matt Kemp said "I don't care I'm still really, really rich"</div>
<div>
5. Everyone let Fielder win because they felt really bad about his haircut. </div>
<div>
4. Chris Berman was covered in BBQ sauce the entire time. </div>
<div>
3. The pitchers weren't really trying. </div>
<div>
2. Jose Bautista lost on purpose because he is contracually obligated to deny Toronto fans to feel happy about anything.</div>
<div>
1. All of the kids in the outfield actually belonged to Vladimir Guererro</div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
<div>
<u><b><span class="il">Tweet</span> <span class="il">Ten</span> things Gary Bettman says to you after you get drafted.</b></u></div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
10. Does this suit make me look fat?</div>
<div>
9. Maple Leafs? Tough break man. </div>
<div>
8. Thank you for not Lindrosing</div>
<div>
7. How does it feel to know that you might be traded to Colmbus at any moment? </div>
<div>
6. Whatever you do don't piss off Zdeno Chara. </div>
<div>
5. Ever been to Kansas City? No? Well better get a map.</div>
<div>
4. Can you kneel down when we take the picture? </div>
<div>
3. Remember, 3 headshots MAX. </div>
<div>
2. I own you</div>
<div>
1. For the love of God take the cardboard out of the hat before you put it on!</div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
<u><b><span class="il">Tweet</span> <span class="il">Ten</span> Reasons why Therrien was hired.</b></u><br />
<br />
10. Youppi put in a good word.<br />
9. He makes a delightful Sangria.<br />
8. He promises to be the Anti-Therrien from a few years ago.<br />
7. Bribe? What bribe?<br />
6. They really enjoyed his "Don't play Gomez" strategy.<br />
5. He won "Canadiens Coaching Candidate's Got Talent"<br />
4. The dart landed on his name.<br />
3. Goes by Michel AND Mike win/gagner!<br />
2. Has already got all of his losing out of the way.<br />
1. Second time's a charm! </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<u><b><span class="il">Tweet</span> <span class="il">Ten</span> best fan signs seen throughout the Stanley Cup Playoffs.</b></u><br />
<br />
10. If the ref had another eye he'd be a cyclops<br />
9. Hey Fleury, switch to Geico, you'll save more.<br />
8. Dear Quebec, please take the Coyotes, they suck.<br />
7. I had no idea the Panthers existed until 2 weeks ago.<br />
6. My jock has more cups than your entire team.<br />
5. Seguin, I've seen better hands on a digital clock<br />
4. Radulov and Kostitsyn walk into a bar...</div>
<div>
3. Africa sees more ice than Ovechkin.<br />
2. Coupons save more than the Flyers Goalies.<br />
1. This sign has more words than a Tortorella press conference</div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
<u><b><span class="il">Tweet</span> <span class="il">Ten</span> things said between Tortorella and DeBoer during their<br />
screaming match last night.</b></u><br />
<br />
10. Nice suit, did your mother pick out your shoes too?<br />
9. Don't feel bad, a lot of people suck at coaching.<br />
8. I just want to make things awkward for Pierre McGuire and Glen Healy.<br />
7. You're such a bad coach you make Ron Wilson look like Mike Babcock<br />
6. You Mother Father!<br />
5. How many times do I have to flush to get rid of you?<br />
4. I think that you are a very nice person!<br />
3. Do you believe in God considering what he did to your face?<br />
2. You're such a Gauthier.<br />
1. KovalCHUK YOU! </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<u><b><span class="il">Tweet</span> <span class="il">Ten</span> Questions asked during the Habs coaching interviews.</b></u><br />
<br />
10. Do you promise to always make Tomas Kaberle a healthy scratch?<br />
9. What does the 'H' stand for?<br />
8. How many twitter followers do you have?<br />
7.What is your stance on frustratingly good defensemen with abbreviated first names?<br />
6. Have you ever hit a fan with your won shoe?<br />
5. Parlez vous francais?<br />
4. How many times have you badmouthed us on L'Antichambre?<br />
3. Are you afraid of orange bigfoots?<br />
2. Why didn't you put gretzky in the shootout?<br />
1. Why were you fired as the head coach of the montreal canadiens your first time around?</div>
<div>
<br /> </div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6234445774355446184.post-66231040862026935032012-07-18T20:52:00.000-04:002012-07-18T20:52:08.176-04:00The Brain Trust-Series Premiere<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<i>We open to Marc Bergevin’s new office on the 7<sup>th</sup>
floor of the Bell Centre. The camera focuses on a simple desk, a series of
chairs, a small lamp and a dartboard with Scott Gomez’s picture stapled to it. </i></div>
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<i>Sitting around a table stationed at the far corner of the
room are the members of new “Habs Brain Trust” consisting of Scott Mellanby,
Rick Dudley, Larry Carriere, Patrice Brisebois, Martin Lapointe and of course,
Marc Bergevin. </i></div>
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<i>They appear to be engaged in intense and rapid conversation…let’s
have a listen.</i></div>
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<b>Marc Bergevin:</b> And then he says “Don’t hire Larry Robinson”</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b>All:</b> *Laughter*</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b>Marc Bergevin:</b> He was serious.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b>Martin Lapointe:</b> Wait…what?</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b>Marc Bergevin:</b> You know he signed in San Jose last week
right? I don’t even know why I’m telling you all this story. Don’t you have
phones? TVs? </div>
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<b>Scott Mellanby: </b>Yeah but I spend all of my time playing Draw
Something and watching Storage Wars.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b>Marc Bergevin:</b> You guys know you have jobs right? </div>
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<br /></div>
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<b>Rick Dudley:</b> Oh I know I have a job. Right now I’m planning
to kidnap the Prime Minister’s daughter and hold her for ransom! </div>
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<br /></div>
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<b>Marc Bergevin:</b> That’s….not leg-</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b>Rick Dudley:</b> And then I’m going to make her fall in love
with me!</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Marc Bergevin:</b> Does Harper even have a daugh-</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Rick Dudley: </b>And then, after she inevitably spurns my
advances, I’m going to tie her up and leave her on railroad tracks! *he fingers
his moustache* Nyehehehe!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>The Brain Trust stares at Dudley blankly.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Marc Bergevin: </b>Are you high?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Rick Dudley:</b> As a kite!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Marc Bergevin: </b>So you don’t actually think you’re an old
timey villain?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Rick Dudley:</b> Oh I most certainly do!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Scott Mellanby: </b>I heard about this from Burke at the draft.
Just ignore him until he comes back to earth.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Patrice Brisebois:</b> Like Georges Laraque?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Scott Mellanby:</b> Exactly.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Marc Bergevin:</b> Alright, on to business then. As you may or
may not have heard, I’m awesome. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Larry Carriere: </b>Who said that?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Marc Bergevin:</b> Doesn’t matter. The point is that we’re well
on our way to recovering from the dark ages and I think that we’re making good
headway into establishing ourselves as a legitimate organization within the NHL
again.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Larry Carriere: </b>I have to admit that things are a lot better
since he who must not be named was fired.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Marc Bergevin: </b>You’re right. And you know what that reminds
me, why won’t you say Pier-</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Larry Carriere:</b> NO! Please don’t say his name. It’s not that
a won’t say it…it’s more like I can’t say it. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Marc Bergevin:</b> Why not?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Larry Carriere: </b>I maybe kind of most definitely have
developed a conditioned reflex to that name.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Marc Bergevin: </b>Because he made your life a living hell for a
year.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Larry Carriere: </b>Yes. So I would really appreciate you not
saying his name.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Marc Bergevin:</b> Ok.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Martin Lapointe:</b> PIERRE GAUTHIER!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Without warning, Carriere jumps across the table and punches
Lapointe in the face</i>. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Patrice Brisebois: </b>Jesus! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Larry Carriere:</b> I’m sorry, I warned him. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Marc Bergevin:</b> You should probably see a shrink about that.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Larry Carriere:</b> I’ve been to four. Two are pressing charges.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Marc Bergevin: </b>Tabled?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Scott Mellanby:</b> Tabled.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Patrice Brisebois: </b>Tabled.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Rick Dudley:</b> Tabled mmmyesssss!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Marc Bergevin: </b>Anyways, As I was saying: Our image is
improving but it’s still not up to where I want it to be. We’ve been trying to
get our name out there in the media world but we haven’t been very successful. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Scott Mellanby:</b> Family Feud was a disaster.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>*The scene cuts to several members of the Canadiens on the
hit TV gameshow Family Feud*</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Steve Harvey:</b> Well congratulations Brian, you did fantastic
in the first round of Fast Money earning 170 points! It’s now up to you, Tomas,
to get at least 30 points to win 50,000 for your charity!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Tomas Kaberle:</b> I am ready Steve!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Steve Harvey:</b> Alright, to go over the rules one more time, I
will tell you a survey question and if you-</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Tomas Kaberle:</b> I watched this show all the time as a kid. I
know the rules Steve.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Steve Harvey: </b>Alright a pro! Here we go folks! 70 seconds on
the clock! Name somewhere you drive to…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Tomas Kaberle:</b>…..Pass.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Brian Gionta:</b> Crap.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>*Cut back to the office*</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Patrice Brisebois:</b> And we all know sending Desharnais to the
Children’s hospital was a terrible idea.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>*Cut to the Montreal Children’s Hospital*</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>David Desharnais:</b>*being restrained by orderlies* I’M NOT A
PATIENT! I’M TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD! YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME! CALL MARC
BERGEVIN!!! CALL MARC BERGEVIIIIIIN!!!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>*Cut back to the office*</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Larry Carriere:</b> And getting Emelin to work that kid’s
birthday party was not smart.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>*Cut to birthday party*</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Alexei Emelin:</b> Who want see dead body?!*</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>*Cut back to the office*</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Marc Bergevin:</b> So I think we can all agree that we should
slow it down with the public appearances but I think we still need to tell the
world that the old regime is over and that we’re back to the old Habs who love
to win and be all in your face about it. Scott, what’s Twitter saying about us?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Scott Mellanby:</b> Well, they want you to sign a top 6 forward.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Marc Bergevin: </b>What? There were like none available!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Larry Carriere: </b>What? There tons!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Marc Bergevin: </b>No.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Scott Mellanby:</b> Jagr, Whitney, Parenteau-</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Marc Bergevin: </b>They’re no-</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Larry Carriere: </b>Parise, Hudler-</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Marc Bergevin:</b> I don’t se-</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Scott Mellanby:</b> Semin and Doan are still available </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Patrice Brisebois:</b> Latendresse called us like 6 times!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Marc Bergevin</b>: THANK YOU, TEAM!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Scott Mellanby:</b> I’m just saying…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Marc Bergevin:</b> I have a plan, alright?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Patrice Brisebois:</b> Do tell.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Rick Dudley:</b> Yeah, tell us!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>The Brain Trust stares at Dudley blankly again.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Rick Dudley:</b> Oh I came back during the flashbacks. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Marc Bergevin:</b> Good lord…anyways, I can’t tell you what my
plan is because it has to be super secret or else it’s going to get messed up.
Can you guys trust me, do your jobs, and just let it play out?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Rick Dudley:</b> That seems fair. In Toronto Burke’s plan was to
keep trading crap to Jay Feaster until the team made the playoffs.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Scott Mellanby: </b>That’s alright with me, I have no idea what
my actual job is anways. I just show up and play Draw Something and-</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Marc Bergevin:</b> Watch Storage Wars, I got it. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Patrice Brisebois:</b> And I will keep telling the youth of this
team how to be successful in Montreal until you earn your big contract!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Marc Bergevin:</b> And also after they’ve earned their big
contract too.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Patrcie Brisebois</b>: Um, yeah…after too!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Martin Lapointe:</b> PIERRE GAUTHIER! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Larry Carriere:</b> GAAAHHH!!!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
*The Camera fades to black*</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6234445774355446184.post-10570758871876765562012-05-23T23:22:00.001-04:002012-05-24T15:23:05.987-04:00Pierre Gauthier and Marc Bergevin: A Comparison<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQpIintr6QKhM_2Z6NBrWVbS_MOqCfWtOfAcwAaYWUznbjvcneLwQ" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQpIintr6QKhM_2Z6NBrWVbS_MOqCfWtOfAcwAaYWUznbjvcneLwQ" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"> "I am smiling"</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong><u>Pierre Gauthier and Marc Bergevin: A Comparison.</u></strong> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Fact: Marc Bergevin is the exact opposite of Pierre
Gauthier.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Fact: 95% of Habs fans are happy about Bergevin being the
new GM because he represents the return of class, smarts and all around
niceness to the organization.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Fact: 5% of Habs fans are morons. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Marc Bergevin is the light at the end of the tunnel and Habs
fans indeed feel like they’re in heaven after going through 2ish years of pure
hell.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">While Habs fans were quick to cut the cord connecting
Gauthier to the Habs I want to go back for one more drag through mud…considering
that’s what Gauthier did to the Canadiens during his time as Supreme Overlord of
the team. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Gauthier and Bergevin couldn’t be more different, here are
some comparisons to prove just how different they actually are. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Marc Bergevin:</strong> Is very patient and friendly to the media. He
graciously answered questions and made himself available for public
appearances.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Pierre Gauthier:</strong> You paid for that cookie, right?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Marc Bergevin:</strong> Will be patient and tactical while exploring
trade avenues with other General Managers throughout the league.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Pierre Gauthier:</strong> Swears that is was Gainey’s idea to trade
Ryan McDonagh <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Marc Bergevin:</strong> Has 20 years as an NHL player, time as an
assistant coach, head of player development and Assistant General Manager on
his impressive resume. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Pierre Gauthier:</strong> Has worked for the IRS, been a dentist
specializing in root canals and was the General Manager of the Ottawa Senators.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt 36pt; text-indent: -36pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Marc
Bergevin:</strong> Is an overall nice guy.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt 36pt; text-indent: -36pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Pierre
Gauthier:</strong> Took the term “Nice guys finish last” way too seriously. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt 36pt; text-indent: -36pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt 36pt; text-indent: -36pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Marc Bergevin:</strong>
Is a huge fan of the Bee Gees.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt 36pt; text-indent: -36pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Pierre Gauthier:</strong>
Gives everyone the heebeegeebees. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt 36pt; text-indent: -36pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Marc
Bergevin:</strong> Has a great sense of humour often being cited as a fantastic
practical joker.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt 36pt; text-indent: -36pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Pierre
Gauthier:</strong> Idea of a joke is trading Mike Cammalleri for Rene Bourque. Get it?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt 36pt; text-indent: -36pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Marc
Bergevin:</strong> Is not a big drinker but does enjoy going for a few beers with his
buddies every now</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt 36pt; text-indent: -36pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">and then.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt 36pt; text-indent: -36pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Pierre
Gauthier:</strong> Drinks a glass full of Habs fans’ tears every night before bed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt 36pt; text-indent: -36pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Marc
Bergevin:</strong> Knows this is a bit weird but loves drinking soft drinks through a
straw. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt 36pt; text-indent: -36pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Pierre
Gauthier:</strong> Just sucks. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt 36pt; text-indent: -36pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Marc
Bergevin:</strong> Believes that the key to winning is by playing as a team.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt 36pt; text-indent: -36pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Pierre
Gauthier:</strong> Winning? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Marc Bergevin:</strong> Is all for the natural progression of the
sport of Hockey.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Pierre Gauthier:</strong> Wants the red line added back in and thinks
there’s too much shot blocking going on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Marc Bergevin:</strong> Brings a breath of fresh air to the Canadiens
organization. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Pierre Gauthier:</strong> Usually needs a breath of fresh air due to
his head being up his own ass 90% of the time. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Marc Bergevin:</strong> Is keeping his distance from the student
protestors, his business is Hockey.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Pierre Gauthier:</strong> Was overheard saying “Hey, aren’t those
fees a bit too high?” to Gabriel Nadeau-Dubois. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Marc Bergevin:</strong> Is heavily invested in the future of the
organization.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Pierre Gauthier:</strong> Is heavily invested in Facebook. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Marc Bergevin:</strong> Is spending time carefully searching for the
perfect Head Coach.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Pierre Gauthier:</strong> Probably sits in first class while his wife
and kids sit in coach. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Marc Bergevin:</strong> Doesn’t believe in quitting.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Pierre Gauthier:</strong> Doesn’t believe in quitting, he just does a
terrible job and eventually gets fired. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Marc Bergevin:</strong> Wants to create a friendly repertoire with
his players.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Pierre Gauthier:</strong> That will be $1,250, Mr. Cammalleri. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Marc Bergevin:</strong> Gives him a high five every time he runs into
Youppi! in the hallway.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Pierre Gauthier:</strong> Yells “IT’S BACK” and runs away every time
he runs into Youppi! in the hallway. </span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6234445774355446184.post-23748832262211449512012-05-22T11:35:00.000-04:002012-05-22T12:57:07.534-04:00Tweet TensI'm going to be getting back to updating the blog more regularly, until I can get something new up here are some recent Tweet Tens to satisfy your Habs Laughs appetite. You can listen to the Tweet Ten live on Tuesday nights on TSN 990 Radio.
<b>
</b><br />
<br />
<b>Tweet Ten ways the Habs can make the playoffs</b>
<br />
10. Fire the gangly, creepy, unprofessional dude who runs the front office, I'm not naming names so use your imagination.
<br />
9. Acquire an elite Italian/Jewish sniper who once scored 39 goals in one year.
<br />
8. Convince Bettman to expand the playoffs from 8 seeds to 13 seeds.
<br />
7. Play the Rangers at home 82 times
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6. Go back in time and do whatever they can to prevent Bob Gainey from even thinking about acquiring Scott Gomez.
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5. Shotgun a playoff spot!
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4. Become the Boston Bruins
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3. Sign Chuck Norris and Jack Bauer to long term contracts.<br />
2. Win games
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1. Ask me again in 2014.
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<b>Tweet Ten ways we can get the expos back</b>
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10. Free Henry Rodriguez Bobblehead to the first MLB franchise to relocate to Montreal
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9. We spoke to every Montrealer and they all totally promised that they would all go to games this time around
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8. City wide temper tantrum?
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7. We'll stop bitching about 94
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6. Youppi! will go on a hunger strike
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5. Get Annakin Slayd to write another epic song about them.
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4. We're open to sacrificing the Impact...
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3.....Riot?
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2. We'll drop the whole French thing if that's a dealbreaker
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1. Ensure to the government and private investors that Carey Price and his 7,420 career saves will indeed be the team's closer.
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<b>Tweet Ten Excuses Tim Tomas gave for missing the White House ceremony. </b>
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10. I have never paid my taxes.
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9. My Skinnard cover band had a gig that night.
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8. I couldn't get someone at the border to cover my shift.
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7. I waited at 1602 Pennsilvania avenue for like 5 hours!
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6. I was on my way but my Hummer only gets 5 miles to the galon.
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5. I didn't want to break my lunch date with Michelle Bachmann and Sarah Palin.<br />
4. What, and miss Dr. Oz?
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3. Zdeno Chara sneezed on me and I wound up in Kansas.
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2. I thought we were meeting Osama!
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1. Nah I'm just kidding, I knew it was Obama, I'm just a douche!
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<b>Tweet Ten Fake Habs Quotes from the 2011-2012 season</b>
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10. "If you spell Erik with a C one more time I'm going to play terribly, get traded for a 3rd liner and then score 30 goals for the Bruins next season"-Erik Cole
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9. "Winning is overrated"-Jacques Martin
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8. "I agree with everything the refs did tonight"-The Bell Centre Crowd
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7. "Just warning you I have no idea how to skate backwards...or forwards"-Tomas Kaberle
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6. "What's a Budaj?" Carey Price
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5. "We're number one....five!!!" Pierre Gauthier
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4. "X Men origins: Wolverine is losely based off my life" Max Pacioretty
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3. "I only fight in practice because of our "not in the face" rule"- P.K. Subban
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2. "I'm probably the smallest Double D you'll ever see"-David Desharnais
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1. "I can neither confirm nor deny that I a figment of your imagination"-Andrei Markov
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<b>Tweet Ten reasons to keep watching the Canadiens</b>
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10. I hear they're going to retire Tomas Kaberle's number...and by "retire" I meant "throw in the garbage"
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9. Rene Bourque might decide to try.<br />
8. PK Subban.
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7. Wouldn't want to lose track of your "Chris Campoli Terrible play-O-Meter"
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6. Scott Gomez might score. That's like the Halley's Comet of Hockey.
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5. Steven Stamkos could hit 60 goal on Wednesday!
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4. I hear Saturday is Gauthier Piñata night!
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3. Cannot pass up the chance to watch Guy Boucher and Kirk Muller coach random south-east teams.
2. Who knows what the Toronto crowd will chant next?!
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1. Brad Staubitz and Ryan White are going to fight a bear!
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<b>Tweet Ten signs the draft lottery is fixed</b>
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10. Gary Bettman tells Scott Howson to go home.<br />
9. There's a Yakupov Blue Jackets jersey sitting on Jeff Tambellini's seat.
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8. The lottery rules have been changed from "worst team has the best chance" to "Most Eastern American team has the best chance"
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7. The Islanders GM is introduced as Garth "No chance in hell" Snow.
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6. Halfway through the proceedings Sidney Crosby shows up and stares at Bettman with puppy dog eyes for 15 minutes.
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5. There's only one ball.
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4. A scandalous text message from Bettman to Ken Holland is revealed: "Got ur back xoxo"
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3. Bettman asks Larry Carriere if he remembers what happened at Survivor Series '97
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2. Peter Chiarelli shows up to personally pick the winner.
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1. Brian Burke won't stop smiling
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<b>Tweet Ten Signs your playoff series is too violent</b>
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10. You notice that your enforcers gauntlets are actual medieval gauntlets.
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9. Your team calls up prospect Chuck Lidell who has apparently been on the team the whole time.
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8. Don Cherry calls it the best Hockey he's ever seen.
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7. Your coach asks you if you ever seen "300"
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6. The arena is out of usable stanchions.
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5. Michael Buffer is your PA Announcer.
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4. Claude Julien's head is the same color as a tomato.
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3. Instead of a Hockey stick your star winger is using a Samurai Sword.
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2. Daniel Carcillo comments "This series is too vioilent"
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1. No clue, I play for the Devils or Panthers.
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<b>Tweet Ten Suggested New NBA Team Names.</b>
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10. The New Orleans At Least We're Not The Saints
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9. The Philadelphia Cream Cheasers
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8. The Toronto Maple Leafs (Gives another chance for the Leafs to win something)
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7. The New York Lins
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6. The Golden State Guess Where We Play
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5. The Los Angeles We Also Existers
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4. The Orlando DisneysTRADEMARKCOPYRIGHTS
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3. The Cleveland Please Come Backs
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2. The Dallas Catch An All New Shark Tank This Thursday On ABC 9 Easten 8 Centrals
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1. The Charlotte Michael Jordans
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<br />
<b>Tweet Ten More Appropriate names for Metta World Peace</b>
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10. Ron Artest
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9. Anything but Metta World Peace
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8. Insane-o the clown
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7. Purple Monkey Dishwasher
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6. Lamar Odom
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5. The Elbower
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4. Metta Polar Fleece
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3. Douchebag
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2. Uno Cinqo
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1. The Basketball player formerly known as Metta World Peace
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<br />
<b>Tweet Ten Questions asked during the Habs coaching interviews.</b>
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10. Do you promise to always make Tomas Kaberle a healthy scratch?<br />
9. What does the 'H' stand for?
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8. How many twitter followers do you have?
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7.What is your stance on frustratingly good defensemen with abbreviated first names?
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6. Have you ever hit a fan with your own shoe?
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5. Parlez vous francais?
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4. How many times have you badmouthed us on L'Antichambre?
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3. Are you afraid of orange bigfoots?
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2. Why didn't you put gretzky in the shootout?
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1. Why were you fired as the head coach of the montreal canadiens your first time around?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6234445774355446184.post-29291362508830616472012-03-22T20:38:00.003-04:002012-03-23T21:26:06.004-04:00Habs 2011-2012 Season In ReviewWell, this season has been pretty crap but at least that makes it pretty fun for me to make fun of them. <br /><br />The 2011-2012 season will be a season to forget if not to remind us all about what should never ever happen again.<br /><br />Here’s a 2011-2012 Player Review, here’s to a Gauthier-less 2012-2013.<br /><br />Yeah, I’m not bitter or anything. <br /><br />GHG<br /><br /><br /><strong>Carey Price</strong><br />Positive: Will never have to deal with the playoff stress and pressure that Halak had to put up with while he was here. <br />Negative: Having to deal with Tim Tebow’s stupid prayers every Sunday.<br />2012-2013 Habs Laughs fearless Prediction: Will be the first NHL player to get penalized for “Roping” <br /><br /><strong>Josh Gorges</strong><br />Positive: Finally knows what a tenderized steak feels like.<br />Negative: Thinks he looks delicious whenever he looks in themirror. <br />2012-2013 Habs Laughs fearless Prediction: Will be the first defenseman to bruise the puck after blocking a shot. <br /><br /><strong>P.K. Subban</strong><br />Positive: Strength isn’t a question after watching him carry Tomas Kaberle and Chris Campoli all season.<br />Negative: Literally had to carry around Andrei Markov allseason. <br />2012-2013 Habs Laughs fearless Prediction: Will make a killing after he starts charging admission for his in practice fights. <br /><br /><strong>Max Pacioretty</strong><br />Positive: Makes Leafs fans cry a little inside when they see his jersey number<br />Negative: Only like, 15 years left of him.<br />2012-2013 Habs Laughs fearless Prediction: will spend all summer stunt-doubling for Hugh Jackman in the next X-Men movie<br /><br /><strong>Brian Gionta</strong><br />Positive: Will have a brand spanking new surgically repaired bicep next season. <br />Negative: Can’t close the lights in the dressing room due to the Gill trade<br />2012-2013 Habs Laughs fearless Prediction: Upon his request, the team will sign Yao Ming in the off season <br /><br /><strong>Louis Leblanc</strong><br />Positive: Eyebrows provided an extra layer of protection against high sticks<br />Negative: The French media probably hates him: http://aol.sportingnews.com/nhl/story/2012-03-20/carey-price-pk-subban-max-pacioretty-lars-eller-scott-gomez-montreal-canadiens?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter&utm_campaign=jessespector<br />2012-2013 Habs Laughs fearless Prediction: See: Guillaume Latendresse<br /><br /><strong>David Desharnais</strong><br />Positive: Proved that he can be an effective NHL playmaker and scorer. <br />Negative: On a last place team<br />2012-2013 Habs Laughs fearless Prediction: Will finally hit his growth spurt!<br /><br /><strong>Alexei Emelin</strong><br />Positive: Established himself as a hard, painful and nasty checker. <br />Negative: Does not understand a single word I am writing. <br />2012-2013 Habs Laughs fearless Prediction: Will play Ivan Drago’s son in Rocky 7.<br /><br /><strong>Tomas Kaberle</strong><br />Positive: Uh…<br />Negative: Everything<br />2012-2013 Habs Laughs fearless Prediction: Will use a stick so small that even Brian Gionta will call it too short. <br /><br /><strong>Scott Gomez</strong><br />Positive: Probably the 2nd or 3rd best Alaskan in the NHL<br />Negative: Not his bank account. <br />2012-2013 Habs Laughs fearless Prediction: Traded to the new expansion team The Wichita Thisteamtotallyexistsers for a 1st round pick and the right to Sidney Crosby from the Penguins.<br /><br /><strong>Chris Campoli</strong><br />Positive: I’m positive that he will be unemployed next season.<br />Negative: Can’t be happy about having less points than Scott Gomez<br />2012-2013 Habs Laughs fearless Prediction: Sucking<br /><br /><strong>Pierre Gauthier</strong><br />Positive: Nowhere to go but up<br />Negative: Go us to the ‘nowhere to go but up’ stage<br />2012-2013 Habs Laughs fearless Prediction: GM of the Leafs….please?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6234445774355446184.post-79738285106678371072012-01-25T09:04:00.002-05:002012-06-01T15:31:23.686-04:00Tweet Ten Tim Thomas ExcusesLong time no see, Hockey fans.<br />
<br />
Timmy Thomas made headlines this week by snubbing Barack Obama at the White house for their visit with the big man. <br />
<br />
Word is that he missed the party because of his political views...wrong!<br />
<br />
I have the Tweet Ten Tim Thomas Excuses for snubbing POTUS. <br />
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<strong>10. </strong>I have never paid my taxes. <br />
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<strong>9.</strong> My Skinnard cover band had a gig that night. <br />
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<strong>8.</strong> I couldn't get someone at the border to cover my shift. <br />
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<strong>7.</strong> I waited at 1602 Pennsilvania avenue for like 5 hours!<br />
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<strong>6.</strong> I was on my way but my Hummer only gets 5 miles to the galon.<br />
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<strong>5.</strong> I didn't want to break my lunch date with Michelle Bachmann and Sarah Palin. <br />
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<strong>4.</strong> What, and miss Dr. Oz? <br />
<br />
<strong>3.</strong> Zdeno Chara sneezed on me and I wound up in Kansas!<br />
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<strong>2.</strong> I thought we were meeting Osama! <br />
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<strong>1.</strong> Nah I'm just kidding, I knew it was Obama, I'm just a douche!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6234445774355446184.post-77005467508447468432011-10-22T13:14:00.004-04:002011-10-22T15:12:38.840-04:00The All Former Habs Team<div>The Montreal Canadiens are without a doubt the most storied franchise in the National Hockey League. They boast an almost unreachable 24 Stanley Cups, a myriad of Hall Of Famers and of course, Scott Gomez.<br /><br />Despite all of the success that the Canadiens have experienced over recent years the current generation of Montreal Canadiens fans have nothing too insane to celebrate about. The majority of Habs talk these days circles around who the Habs have compared to who the Habs used to have. It’s no secret that the Habs have stunted some players development over the years, players might have been self-entitled Europeans, misunderstood French Canadians or even misunderstood rest –of- Canadians.<br /><br />Habs fans have undoubtedly spent countless drunken rants going over the players that were terrible on the Habs, were traded for nothing, and then went on to have success with their new team. <br /><br />You’ve heard of the “All Habs Team” where experts have put together a team including the best Habs of all time…well, I did the research, I scoured the internets, and I put together the “All Former Habs Team”<br /><br />I chose this team based on success with the Canadiens VS. success with new team, what the team got for said player and basic availability and since the list could go on and on and on I’m doing this post-lockout style….here we go folks.<br /><br /><strong>Centers:</strong><br /><br /><strong>1st Line: </strong>Mikhail Grabovksi-Toronto Maple Leafs: The Habs let Grabovski go for a 2nd round pick that ended up being traded for Robert Lang. His deportation to Toronto was due to a combination of a sense of self entitlement combined with the fact that there was simply no room for him. He earns first line center honours because he has grown up, found his scoring touch…and did it all while playing for the Toronto Maple Leafs.<br /><br /><strong>2nd Line:</strong> Mike Ribeiro-Dallas Stars: While he may miss the snow in Montreal he certainly hasn’t missed a beat in Dallas. Bottom line, he turned into the player we all wanted him to become in Montreal. What’s Janne Niinimaa doing these days?<br /><br /><strong>3rd Line: </strong>Saku Koivu-Anaheim Ducks: I have no idea why the Habs let him go. Screw you Scott Gomez.<br /><br /><strong>4th Line:</strong> Maxime Lapierre-Vancouver Canucks: How many of you wished he was still on the team during the Boston series?<br /><br /><strong>Honourable Mentions: </strong>Tommy Pyatt-Tampa Bay Lightning, Jeff Halpern-Washington Capitals, Glen Metropolit, Switzerland. Mike Johnson,-TSN. Brian Smolinski-Wherabouts Unknown. Dominic Moore-Tampa Bay Lightning.<br /><br /><strong>Wingers:<br /><br />1st Line: </strong><br /><br />Michael Ryder-Dallas Stars: Ryder was the worst 30 goal scorer the Habs ever had, on top of this…he just won a cup with the Bruins. First liner for sure.<br /><br />Guillaume Latendresse-Minnesota Wild: He was supposed to be the next big thing…he was…in terms of pants size.<br /><br /><strong>2nd Line: </strong><br /><br />Sergei Kostitsyn-Nashville Predators: The return is now absolutely zero and he’s putting up very solid numbers with the predators. This one stings based on the fact that his brother is still on the team.<br /><br />Alex Tanguay-Calgary Flames: I’d rather have Cammalleri anyways.<br /><br /><strong>3rd Line: </strong><br /><br />Chris Higgins-Vancouver Canucks: Remember when he said he was going to score 40 goals? Ah Memories. New York and Florida couldn’t figure him out. Vancouver managed to turn him into a solid energy forward with scoring upside.<br /><br />Matt D’Agostini-St. Louis Blues: He just scored his 3rd of the season in OT for the Blue last night. How’s Aaron Palushaj doing?<br /><br /><strong>4th Line: </strong><br /><br />Tom Kostopoulos-Calgary Flames: High octane, high energy, high last name word content.<br /><br />A Habs team wouldn’t be a Habs team without a non-scoring center playing the wing. One of my honourable mentions at Center will fill this role.<br /><br /><strong>Honourable Mentions: </strong>Alex Kovalev-Space. Benoit Pouliot-Boston Bruins. Georges Laraque-Politics.<br /><br /><strong>Defense:</strong><br /><br /><strong>1st Pairing:</strong><br /><br />Mark Streit-New York Islanders: Don’t you wish they still had him? Captaining the<br />Islanders right now.<br /><br />Ryan McDonaugh-New York Rangers: He earns top pairing status because of what they got in return. Big time ouch.<br /><br /><strong>2nd Pairing:</strong><br /><br />Roman Hamrlik-Washington Capitals: Enjoy that cup, Roman.<br /><br />James Wisniewski-Columbus Blue Jackets: He’ll be great in Columbus, just hope he doesn’t…blow it *ba dum tss*<br /><br /><strong>3rd Pairing: </strong><br /><br />Mike Komisarek-Toronto Maple Leafs: This is a jokes blog after all.<br /><br />Ron Hainsey-Winnipeg Jets: Barely a Hab but could have been a solid reliable defenseman who would have probably been traded for nothing.<br /><br /><strong>Honourable Mentions:</strong> Brent Sopel-Russia. Francis Bouillon-Nashville Predators. Paul Mara-Free Agent. Marc-Andre Bergeron-Tampa Bay Lightning. Ryan O’Byrn-Colorado Avalanche. Etc.<br /><br /><strong>Goaltenders</strong><br /><br /><strong>Starting Goalie:</strong><br />Jaroslav Halak-St. Louis Blues: While he isn’t having the stellar career most thought he would he is definitely the reason the Habs experienced their best showing since 1993…which a conference finals appearance, in case anyone forgot.<br /><br /><strong>Backup Goalie:</strong><br />Jose Theodore-Florida Panthers: Another man who misses the Montreal winters. He wont the Hart and Vezina in the same year. That’s ridiculous.<br /><br /><strong>Honourable Mentions:</strong> Alex Auld-Ottawa Senators. Mathieu Garon-Tampa Bay Lightning. Cedric Desjardins-Colorado Avalanche. Cristobal Huet-France? Yann Danis-Edmonton Oilers.<br /><br />With all of this amazing talent available, here is what the lineup would look like.<br />All Former Habs Team:<br /><br />Latendresse-Grabovski-Ryder<br />Tanguay-Ribeiro-Kostitsyn<br />Higgins-Koivu-D’Agostini<br />Halpern-Lapierre-Kostopoulos<br /><br />Streit-McDonaugh<br />Hamrlik-Wisniewski<br />Hainsey-Komisarek<br /><br />Halak<br />Theodore<br /><br />Now the question remains, Habs Laughs readers: Are they a playoff team?</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6234445774355446184.post-16950582825320518852011-08-04T22:14:00.002-04:002011-08-04T22:18:48.303-04:00Habs Celebrity Jeopardy!Alex Trebek: Hello and welcome back to Habs Celebrity Jeopardy! I am your host, Alex Trebek and in case you are wondering, yes I am only here because Pierre Gauthier saved my life in Tijuana in the summer of ’82. <br /><br />We’re all set to begin Double Jeopardy, but first, let’s take a look at how our contestants did in the Jeopardy round.<br /><br />Carey Price finished with an astonishing -10,458 Dollars.<br /><br />Carey Price: Just chill man, it’s only pre-Jeopardy.<br /><br />Alex Trebek: I can assure you that the last round very much counted. Next we have P.K. Subban who managed to score a perfect 69 in the opening round.<br /><br />P.K. Subban: Hehehe<br /><br />Alex Trebek: Who wagers 69 on a daily double?<br /><br />P.K. Subban: ppffffffhehehehe.<br /><br />Alex Trebek: Is this because I keep saying 69?<br /><br />P.K. Subban: *holding laugher* Yes sir.<br /><br />Alex Trebek: I hate my life. Let’s move on to our final contestant, Scott Gomez, who has done surprisingly well and has amassed a total of 3,200 dollars for the Canadiens Children’s Foundation<br /><br />Scott Gomez: That right Al-wait what?<br /><br />Alex Trebek: You’ve raised 3,200 Doll-<br /><br />Scott Gomez: No I heard that part, the last part about the charity.<br /><br />Alex Trebek: Well Mr. Gomez, this is for charity….<br /><br />Scott Gomez: I’m out. <br /><br />Alex Trebek: Mr. Gomez I can assure you, the children do need this money very much! You are contractually obligated to finish the show!<br /><br />Scott Gomez: What about me? What about MY needs?! Who’s going to clean the pool filled to the brim with the tears of Habs fans everywhere if I don’t keep bringing in the dinero? <br /><br />Alex Trebek: I don’t think I should have to remind you, but you are a multi millionaire who continues to make an average of 7 million dollars every year.<br /><br />Scott Gomez: …..Let’s play Jeopardy!<br /><br />Alex Trebek: If you’re watching this, please stop. <br /><br />Let’s take a look at the categories!<br /><br />We have: YOUR JERSEY NUMBER, MONTREAL, ALASKAN MEXICAN RELATIONS<br /><br />Scott Gomez: NICE!<br /><br />Alex Trebek: THE NHL, EXPERTS EXCHANGE, for this one we will be talking about general managers and the trades they’ve made and finally; SAY THIS WORD, I don’t think I can explain it any better than that.<br /><br />P.K., I believe you have control of the board.<br /><br />P.K. Subban: I’LLTAKEMONTREALFOR400ALEX!!!!<br /><br />Alex Trebek: My God! It’s like your mother’s breastmilk was infused with Red Bull! Here is the answer: This is the Hockey team that plays in Montreal.<br /><br />*BEEP BEEP* <br /><br />Alex Trebek: Mr. Price?<br /><br />Carey Price: Who are the Washington Capitals?<br /><br />Alex Trebek: *stares blankly*….<br /><br />…..<br /><br />…..<br /><br />The Washington Capitals is the team that plays in Montreal? <br /><br />Carey Price: You didn’t say ‘who are’<br /><br />Alex Trebek: for the love of God, someone kill me now.<br /><br />Matt Cooke: Ok fine, turn around.<br /><br />Alex Trebek: I WAS KIDDING!<br /><br />Matt Cooke: Aw.<br /><br />Alex Trebek: THE MONTREAL CANADIENS are the team that plays in Montreal.<br /><br />Mr. Subban it’s still your board<br /><br />P.K. Subban: I’LLTAKEALASKANMEXICANRELATIONSFOR2000ALEX!!!!<br /><br />Alex Trebek: gah! For the love of all that is holy, tone it down!<br /><br />P.K. Subban: ALWAYSON!!!!<br /><br />Alex Trebek: The Answer: This is the Alaskan Mexican who plays for the Montreal Canadiens.<br /><br />*BEEP BEEP*<br /><br />Alex Trebek: Mr. Subban?<br /><br />P.K. Subban: WHO IS SPEEDYGONZALEZBUTHE’SALSOACRABFISHERMAN!?<br /><br />Alex Trebek: I’m not even going near that one, anyone else?<br /><br />….<br /><br />Anyone?<br /><br />Perhaps someone who is playing this game right now?<br /><br />*BEEP BEEP*<br /><br />Mr. Gomez!?<br /><br />Scott Gomez: Who is Carey Price?!<br /><br />Alex Trebek: NO!!<br /><br />Scott Gomez: GAH!! It was a trick question!<br /><br />Alex Trebek: No, it wasn’t the answer was you!!<br /><br />Scott Gomez: Well when you say it like that you make me look like an idiot.<br /><br />Alex Trebek: Why don’t you take control of the board?<br /><br />Scott Gomez: sounds good! I’ll take Expert Sex Change for 400 please.<br /><br />Alex Trebek: Mr. Gomez that clearly reads Experts Exchange. <br /><br />Scott Gomez: You know who could go for an Expert Sex Change? That Alex Burrows dude. He’s always…chomping on extremities and….diving down to the lower body area….he wouldn’t even have to change his name. <br /><br />Alex Trebek: Mr. Gomez, I-<br /><br />Carey Price: Because Alex is a girls name too.<br /><br />Scott Gomez: True say.<br /><br />Alex Trebek: IT SAYS EXPERTS EXCHANGE!!!! ALRIGHT! Let’s just move on to Final Jeopardy! <br /><br />The category is: Where do you play Hockey?<br /><br />*Jeopardy theme begins playing*<br /><br />You can write down; Montreal….Canada…..the world….a rink…anything!<br /><br />And time is up! Let’s put an end to this, shall we?<br /><br />Mr. Price, your answer?<br /><br />Annnd he’s asleep!<br /><br />Carey Price: zzzzzzNo PK, that’s not the kind of triple low 5 I was talking aboutzzzzzzzzzz<br /><br />Alex Trebek: I am going to have nightmares about that for years!<br /><br />Mr. Subban?<br /><br />That….appears to be a picture of you standing next to Los Angeles Kings forward Mike Richards…well in some strange way that counts…what did you wager?<br /><br />Annnd the picture is you pulling out his brain directly from his head, charming.<br /><br />P.K Subban: IHADALOTOFFUNTODAYALEX!<br /><br />Alex Trebek: You probably have fun when you watch paint dry! Mr. Gomez?<br /><br />You wrote… ‘Ice’…well, that’s brilliant, please tell me you wagered something good!<br /><br />….You wagered negative One Billion Dollars?!<br /><br />Scott Gomez: Screw the kids! Now they owe me money!<br /><br />Alex Trebek: You horrible, horrible man. <br /><br />Thank you all for joining us tonight, I am going to go stand next to a stanchion and hope it attracts Zdeno Chara.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6234445774355446184.post-78983564829274785062011-08-02T22:31:00.002-04:002011-08-02T22:43:24.722-04:00Tweet Tens!!For your enjoyment, a massive amount of Tweet Tens!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Tweet Ten signs the nfl lockout is over</span><br /><br />10.The CFL folds<br />9.Dancing with the stars loses half its upcoming cast.<br />8.Brett Favre comes out of retirement<br />7.Brett Favre retires<br />6.EA sports scraps the release of "NFLPA Lockout Negotiations 12"<br />5.Fans forget that Hockey, Baseball and Basketball exist.<br />4.The Bills are already 0-5<br />3.Plaxico Burris is forced to resign as president of the NRA.<br />2.Chad ochoconco inexplicably starts throwing tea in Boston Harbour<br />1.You can still hear Gary Bettman's cursing from miles away.<br /><br />-------<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Tweet Ten ways to get rid of Scott Gomez</span><br /> <br />10. Convince Sarah Palin to bring him on as her running mate.<br />9. Tell him he's been traded to the Atlanta Thrashers and hope he doesnt read the newspaper.<br />8. One word: Stanchion<br />7. Buy him out..and by buy him out I mean blindfold him, gag him, put him in a box and ship him to Antarctica<br />6. Tell him the NHL is now paying all of their players in Pesos.<br />5.Invoke his 'no frealoader' clause that you are 100% sure was in his contract all along.<br />4.Tell Brian Burke that he had a 'truculantoplasty'<br />3.Sign him up for 'deadliest catch' behind his back. He's alaskan he for sure knows how to crab fish!<br />2.Tell the Boston Bruins his dad is Gary Bettman<br />1. Position him so that his blindside faces Matt Cooke<br /><br />----<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Tweet Ten things Ochocinco did while in Montreal</span><br /><br />10. OD at least once on Poutine.<br />9. Ask everyone within earshot what the hell an Alouette is.<br />8. Out of sheer confusion, will beat the crap out of Youppi<br />7.Will spend 3 days furiously trying to roll the Orange Julep onto Decarie.<br />6. Will receive no less that 5 tickets for turning right on a red.<br />5.Win an NDP seat.<br />4.Shatter every CFL receiving record...in one quarter<br />3. carry on the tradition on being a visiting athlete in montreal by having george laraque publicly announce that he won't fight him.<br />2.Will angrily tweet about having to wait in line at Schwartz's<br />1. Legally change his name to Huit-Cinq<br /><br />-----<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Tween Ten ways the Canucks, Bruins, and Lightning are passing the time while waiting for the Detroit/San Jose series to end.</span><br /><br />10. Since the Sedins aren't panning out, Alain Vigneault is going on a worldwide search for Ryan Kessler's lost twin.<br />9. Ryan Kessler has been continuously sending Jonothan Toews "Hello from the playoffs, wish you were here" postcards to Jonothan Toews<br />8. In an effort to stay hydrated, Zdeno Chara drank 2/3 of the Atlantic Ocean.<br />7. Martin St. Louis made a 'how be really good at Hockey while being 5'1' video for David Desharnais<br />6. Roberto Luongo and Maxim Lapierre played some intra-mural soccer games...so they wouldn't get out of practice. <br />5. Tim Thomas gave a lecture on 'How to be the best at what you do despite having absolutely no technical skill related to your trade'<br />4. Chris Higgins bought houses in every NHL city, just in case. <br />3. Andrew Ference got himself a brand new set of gloves in hopes of avoiding any more malfunctions.<br />2.Claude Julien has not stopped practicing his 'There is no way in hell that tha was a penalty' face.<br />1. Steven Stamkos took over for Manny Ramirez in Right Field <br /><br />-----<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Tweet Ten Signs you're getting traded at the MLB Trade Deadline</span><br /><br />10. You're batting 10th<br />9. Your GM asks you how much you think you're worth in cash.<br />8. Your GM asks you how much you think you're worth in minor league pitchers.<br />7. The only sign your base coaches give you is the middle finger.<br />6. You put on your Yankees jersey before your game, but you play for the Padres.<br />5. Instead of a paycheck your manager hands you a plane ticket.<br />4.Your GM asks you if you're afraid of Green Monsters<br />3. Instead of batting practice, your Manager makes you undergo 'Getting on a plane and flying to another city' practice'<br />2.Your pitching coach asks you if you know how to hit. <br />1.The trade deadline was 3 weeks ago and all of these things just happened to you. <br /><br />-----<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Tweet ten things you missed during the MLB All Star Game.<br /></span><br />10. Actual All-Stars<br />9. Robinson showing off his wood<br />8. The Rock performing a dramatic re-enactment of Derek Jeter's 3,000th hit.<br />7.Alex Kovalev looking for a job explaining that he's really good at doing nothing for 1/9th of the game<br />6. The entire 94 expos team simultaneously punching Bud Selig in the face.<br />5.Roy Halladay getting pulled in favor of a pitch machine in the 4th<br />4. Big Papi moonwalking the bases after a home run<br />3. Product placement alert! Robinson Cano walks up to the plate with the worlds largest slim jim<br />2. Mascot mud wrestling<br />1.Jose Bautista juggling 12 balls and reciting shakespeare while balancing a 1972 Thunderbird on his head<br /><br />-----<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Tweet Ten signs your league is in a lockout</span><br /><br />10. You turn on ESPN and Hockey is on<br />9. You contemplate going to the CFL for one one millionth of a second, as opposed to not contemplating it at all.<br />8. You try to be a dual sport athlete but you skate worse than Patrice Brisebois.<br />7. You lose your Gatorade sponsorship to those underage Chinese gymnasts from the Olympics.<br />6. A rapper writes a song about your team called ‘Fat and Mellow’<br />5. The Clippers are a .500 team<br />4. You receive an offer to go to Europe to play football but are extremely confused when you show up and everyone is playing soccer.<br />3. You realize there are a lot more chances to shoot yourself in the leg.<br />2. Your days spent napping and playing X box seem less fulfilling.<br />1. You hold a one hour long special on NBC called ‘The decision: Breakfast’<br /><br />------<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Tweet Ten signs the Impact are moving to the MLS</span><br /> <br />10. They hired Youppi.<br />9. Half their players now go only by their last name.<br />8. They're bringing in Maxim Lapierre as an assistant coach.<br />7. Your house is full of Saputo Cheese but you have no idea how it got there. <br />6. RDS televises their first soccer game in network history<br />5. You start paying attention to Noel Butler<br />4. The Als no longer have 15 'on call' backup kickers<br />3. You find out that Toronto has a whole other demographic of fans for you to hate. <br />2. The team announces the signing of a new forward-Tierry Henri-Bourassa<br />1. They're changing their name to FC Montreal United City<br /><br />-----<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Tweet Ten signs your team just re-located</span><br /> <br />10. The local Applebees stops giving you stuff for free.<br />9. Tons of people from a city you've never heard of start following you on twitter<br />8. You walk into your GMs office and you see the team mascot's head mounted on his wall.<br />7. People haven't stopped asking you if you know how to drive a dog sled.<br />6. Your real estate agent just sold your house but you didn't even put it on the market.<br />5.Your cell phone just told you that you are 'roaming'<br />4.Half of your team just signed in the KHL.<br />3.Your GM calls you to remind you that you have a no trade clause.<br />2.You tune in to sports center to find live coverage of Gary Bettman crying.<br />1.Your team and its current city just ended their relationship on facebook<br /><br />-----<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Tweet Ten best fan signs seen throughout the Stanley Cup Playoffs</span><br /> <br />10. Ryder? I barely know her!<br />9. Kesler is not diving, he's extreme plaking.<br />8. Scott Gomez can afford to buy this sign over 8 Trillion times.<br />7. Flyers goaltending can't even save a nintendo game.<br />6. Matin St. Louis can't see over this sign.<br />5. Hey Seguin, I have more eyes than you have shifts!<br />4. HELP I'm caught in one of Kyle Wellwood's chins!!<br />3. Either Sedin, will you marry me?<br />2. If you can read this sign you aren't Milan Lucic<br />1.This sign has more personality than Jacques Martin<br /><br />-----<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Tweet ten best moments of the Habs 2010-2011 season.</span><br /> <br />10. When Maxim Lapierre got traded and nobody noticed or cared.<br />9. When Carey Price wore the same mask for a record 5 consecutive games!<br />8. When Scott Gomez elected to give everyone in the Bell Centre an equal stake in his salary-376.06<br />7. When PK Subban scored a Hat Trick and caused Mike Richards to jump out a window<br />6. That game against Carolina when Paul Mara's beard made Jeff Skinner wet himself<br />5.When Josh Gorges reluctantly admitted that he was human.<br />4. When Ken Dryden jumped Alex Auld in an alley and forced him to add a tribute to him on his mask at knifepoint.<br />3. When we all found out what Stanchions were.<br />2. When nobody cared about the Halak game.<br />1. When the NHL rewarded Mike Cammalleri with a game off after he killed the deadly spider on Nino Niedereiter's ankle.<br /><br />-----Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6234445774355446184.post-17963520432503431572011-06-24T00:08:00.003-04:002011-06-28T21:36:41.055-04:00Probable Scenes From the 2011 NHL Entry DraftWell, the NHL draft is tomorrow night and if Twitter doesn’t spoil the whole thing we should be in for a treat.<br /><br />GMs have been actually earning their pay (I’m looking at you, Paul Holmgren) by exploding the trade market wide open on Friday afternoon (One way to avoid a lockout: make the cap ceiling so damn high that everyone is happy). The draft will be just as it has been the past few years, with TSN making is seem like every player is way better than they actually are (unless your name is Stephen Stamkos) and with every team mysteriously having the name of the player they select on their jersey seconds after they announce the kid’s name. <br /><br />I am not a psychic, but I can make predictions, keep reading if you want to see some probably scenes from tomorrow night’s NHL draft.<br /><br />----<br /><br />Brian Burke: Oh hey there Bryan, what’s up?<br /><br />Bryan Murray: Oh Um Hi Brian, nothing much.<br /><br />Brian Burke: Nooothing, hey you know what I just realised? We have the same first name!<br /><br />Bryan Murray: Oh yeah, except my name is spelled with a ‘Y’ and yours is with an ‘I’<br /><br />Brian Burke: Well then I guess that’s ‘Y’ you’re such a great dude!<br /><br />Bryan Murray: hahahaha! You know Brian, you’re a pretty good guy.<br /><br />Brian Burke: Well thanks, hey, by the way...who are you drafting?<br /><br />Brian Murray: Well I was going to dra-WAIT A MINUTE! I won’t fall for that again!<br /><br />Brian Burke: Damn, I’ll get you Bryan! Who the hell spells ‘Brian’ with a ‘Y’ anways!?<br /><br /><strong>Later on...</strong><br /><br />Brian Burke: With the 25th pick in the 2011 entry draft, the Toronto Maple Leafs are proud to select...whoever the Ottawa Senators are going to take with their next pick. <br /><br />Bryan Murray: OH COME ON!<br /><br />----<br /><br />Gary Bettman: We have a trade to announce.<br /><br />The crowd gets excited.<br /><br />Gary Bettman: The Colorado Avalan-<br /><br />*From the crowd* Bob McKenzie: I tweeted that like, 20 minutes ago. <br /><br />Gary Bettman: Oh, um...well The Da-<br /><br />Bob McKenzie: That one too.<br /><br />Gary Bettman: Jesus! How about...the Anah-<br /><br />Eklund: Even I tweeted that.<br /><br />Gary Bettman: F*Beep*ck Twitter.<br /><br />Eklund: It was an E5!<br /><br />-----<br /><br />Peter Chiarelli: So, why are you here again?<br /><br />Zdeno Chara: Protection.<br /><br />Peter Chiarelli: I don’t understand.<br /><br />Zdeno Chara: You insist to bring cup with you everywhere, owners want me to be bodyguard. <br /><br />Peter Chiarelli looks behind him at the Stanley cup, which has a leash around it.<br /><br />Peter Chiarelli: That seems fair, what’s with that thing?<br />Zdeno shifts to the left revealing a stanchion propped up against a wall.<br /><br />Zdeno Chara: Weapon of choice.<br /><br />Peter Chiarelli: Ah.<br /><br />Mike Gillis: Got any Sedins?<br /><br />Glen Sather: You’re the only one who has Sedins, go fish.<br /><br />Mike Gillis: Damn.<br /><br />Jim Rutherford: Hey Glen, got any Staals?<br /><br />Glen Sather: *Sigh* yeah. 2.<br /><br />Jim Rutherford: Nice! Hey Pierre, any Staals? <br /><br />Pierre Gauthier: No, but I’ll give you a Gomez for free! *Looks around* Anyone? Crap. Go fish Jim.<br /><br />Jim Rutherford: I got Jordan! FISH UPON MY WISH, AND A SET! 4 Staals!<br /><br />Ray Shero: Wait didn’t I have a Staal? You cheated!<br /><br />All: F*beep*ck you Ray.<br /><br />------<br /><br />Paul Holmgren: So we’re all set, Brian Boucher and Aaron Asham for the first overall pick.<br /><br />Steve Tambellini: Hmm, I don’t know...and isn’t Asham in Pittsburgh?<br /><br />Paul Holmgren: You need a goalie, and Boucher is a goalie. <br /><br />Steve Tambellini: Well, I can’t argue with that logic. I just think the 1st overall pick is worth more than him.<br /><br />Paul Holmgren: *waves his hand* You WILL trade me the first overall pick.<br /><br />Steve Tambellini: I WILL TRADE YOU THE FIRST OVERALL PICK.<br /><br />Paul Holmgren: Eeeexcellent. <br /><br />Pierre Gauthier: So let me get this straight, you can make a trade...even without your team sustaining a massive injury to your star player, OR because your token French Canadian has started to suck and you need a new one?<br /><br />Mike Gillis: Yes.<br /><br />Pierre Gauthier: Well I’ll be!<br /><br />---------------<br /><br />Ken Holland: I don’t know, it just happens.<br /><br />Garth Snow: Just happens you say? Well, it sounds to me like you won’t be needing picks for round 1 through 5.<br /><br />Ken Holland: No, we’re going to keep them.<br /><br />Garth Snow: But come onnn I got burnt by Nabokoovvvv, my best player is Matt Moulssoooon. Please? I’ll trade Streit! He’s Swedish...or something.<br /><br />Ken Holland: Swiss.<br /><br />Garth Snow: Whatever something French. <br /><br />Ken Holland: Goodbye Garth.<br /><br />--------<br /><br />Pierre Gauthier: Hey man, welcome to the League!<br /><br />Kevin Cheveldayoff: Oh, thanks Pierre.<br /><br />Pierre McGuire: I don’t know if you know this, but um...I generally manage the Montreal Canadiens.<br /><br />Kevin Cheveldayoff: I know, it says so on the sign you’re holding. <br /><br />Pierre Gauthier: How did that get there? Anyways, I want to shoot a little offer your way, get your feet wet with the big boys.<br /><br />Kevin Cheveldayoff: Are you trying to push Scott Gomez on me?<br /><br />Pierre Gauthier: No!<br /><br />Kevin Cheveldayoff: Because everyone keeps telling me you’re going to do that and I should run away.<br /><br />Pierre Gauthier: Who said that? Yzerman? He’s a kidder!<br /><br />Kevin Cheveldayoff: Yzerman was one, Bowman, Niewendyk, Fletcher, Maloney, Armstrong..<br /><br />Pierre Gauthier: Umm..<br /><br />Kevin Cheveldayoff: McFee, Sherman, Lombardi, Feaster, Lamouriello, Regier...<br /><br />Pierre Gauthier: er..<br /><br />Kevin Cheveldayoff: And Burke.<br /><br />Pierre Gauthier: Wel...thank you for your time Kevin.<br /><br />-----<br /><br />James Duthie: Well this is a surprise! We are getting information that Sidney Crosby will be personally selecting the next pick for the Pittsburgh Penguins! Looks like he’s healing nicely from his massive concussion!<br /><br />Sidney Crosby: With the next pick, the Pittsbin Pengoons are proud to select, from the Bradnor Sneak Fiends in the Oh Ache Elle, Habana Shabanahabadoo. <br /><br />James Duthie:....Uh....We’ll be right back.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6234445774355446184.post-8652467023476129302011-05-13T13:56:00.002-04:002011-05-13T14:02:07.793-04:00Carey Price-The Most Interesting Man in the NHLNot much can be said about the soft spoken goaltender for the Montreal Canadiens, but he has led a very, very, very interesting life.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEim7Zbq-f2BPtUv5cjd9gnk0-TDwk6tRmwzRfZ7_kQxXwVG6Nhyphenhyphen55etQU9Lo4tp_v_x-BkAF4wtw81S2kag06Sci05quguj8OX3ipkCb_jkxbGVhMKMehoqv4yBEKwWyzhf9eLHRyKtl_w/s1600/carey-price-31-nhl.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 165px; height: 215px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEim7Zbq-f2BPtUv5cjd9gnk0-TDwk6tRmwzRfZ7_kQxXwVG6Nhyphenhyphen55etQU9Lo4tp_v_x-BkAF4wtw81S2kag06Sci05quguj8OX3ipkCb_jkxbGVhMKMehoqv4yBEKwWyzhf9eLHRyKtl_w/s400/carey-price-31-nhl.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5606262477416437778" /></a><br /><br /><br />He is not the reincarnation of Jesus Christ, because Jesus Christ isn’t this good at Hockey.<br /><br />His glove side is a black hole for Hockey pucks.<br /><br />When cows see him on a horse, they tie themselves up.<br /><br />Picasso rose from the dead to design him a new mask.<br /><br />He has never made a routine save.<br /><br />He wrote the lyrics to the Big Mac jingle. <br /><br />His post-win poses can be seen from space.<br /><br />Cabbies pay him for the privilege to drive him around.<br /><br />The triple low five prevents the universe from exploding<br /><br />He invented the Knucklepuck.<br /><br />PK Subban does not have 2 younger brothers, he cloned PK Subban...and then cloned PK Subban’s clone. <br /><br />He did not kill Osama Bin Laden, because everyone expected him to. <br /><br />He persuaded Alexei Yemelin to come to North America by sending him a picture of himself with his arms crossed.<br /><br />He hates Puck Bunnies, but loves Puck Alpacas.<br /><br />Mark Zuckerberg is still waiting for him to accept his friend request. <br /><br />He convinced the Penguins to lose their series so that Matt Cooke had no chance of playing another game this season. <br /><br />He has seen the future and 1967 is still a thing there too. <br /><br />He knows he is in the Matrix.<br /><br />He convinced Chris Bosh to go to the Miami Heat, just so everyone would stop caring about Chris Bosh<br /><br />The Montreal Impact are named after his Johnson. <br /><br />He putts with a pool cue.<br /><br />He has never written an autobiography, but he has written several manualbiographies. <br /><br />He knew about Lando the moment he laid eyes on him.<br /><br />He owns a time share with Barak Obama, Steve Jobs, and The Dalai Lama...on The Moon.<br /><br />He can spell Schwarzenegger, but he won’t.<br /><br />Carey Price: I don’t always fight, but when I do, I prefer Tim ThomasUnknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6234445774355446184.post-62806765984929742042011-03-30T00:31:00.001-04:002011-03-30T00:32:57.251-04:00Tweet Ten Predictions for the 2011 MLB SeasonSpecial Baseball edition of the Tweet Ten-Yeah...I can make fun of Baseball players too.<br /><br />10. Manny Ramirez will show up to White Sox opening day because even he forgot he signed with the Rays.<br /><br />9.Jose Bautista will not repeat his dream season due to the fact that Vernon Wells is no longer around to give him his special 'power bars'<br /><br />8.Tim Lincecum will finally get all those jokes everyone keeps making about his last name. OR: Similar to the Mitchell Report-Tim Lincecum will release a list of every player he has ever smoked up with.<br /><br />7. To make a statement, 20,000 Expos fans will head to DC to make their presence known at a Nationals game-5,000 will instantly head home due to the fact that it's not 1$ hot dog night.<br /><br />6.After years of decision making, Phil Coke will sign a sponsorship deal with Coca Cola, who narrowly beat out the entire country of Columbia.<br /><br />5.To outdo the Yankees, the Rays will make Johnny Damon shave all of his body hair right before his first at bat.<br /><br />4.After an off-season of English lessons, the Yankees second baseman will let everyone know that his last name is actually pronounced 'Canoe'<br /><br />3. Due to pressure from the front office Ron Halliday will get his PhD-adhering to the Phillies' 'literal nickname' policy.<br /><br />2. Albert Pujols will cause an uproar when he gets rid of his batting gloves and starts using the 'Moises Alou Method' for grip.<br /><br />1.The MLB will retire Youppi's Exclamation Mark.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6234445774355446184.post-72320256963872950772011-03-29T12:52:00.044-04:002011-03-29T21:50:12.041-04:00Habs Goal PoolWINNER: Congrats to DBlye! Predicted the goal to be scored at 13:35 into the first-Was the closest out of everyone.<br /><br />Fact-The Montreal Canadiens have been shut out in 3 straight games. <br />Fact-It's so sad, it's kind of funny. <br />Fact-Alaska is close to breaking up with Scott Gomez. <br /><br />The Habs haven't scored in a while-I've started the Habs Goal Pool to get some entertainment out of the whole ordeal. <br /><br />Leave a comment with your thoughts on when you think the Habs will score the next goal, bonus points for who scored it. <br /><br />The winner gets a beer on me.<br /><br />My Prediction: 13:35 into the first period-Scored by Lars Eller<br /><br /><strong>E</strong><strong>ntrees:</strong><br /><br /><strong></strong><strong>MetricJulie:</strong>4th minute into tonight's game. <br /><br /><strong></strong><strong>MeredithBedard:</strong> 9:27 into the first period-scored by James Wisniewki <br /><strong></strong><strong></strong><strong></strong><strong></strong><br /><strong>Mechant_Mangeur:</strong> 44 seconds into the game-scored by Brian Gionta <strong></strong><br /><br /><strong>MrBeersNYR:</strong> November 3rd 2011 8:23 PM-<em>Most realistic prediction?</em> <em></em><br /><br /><strong>MattMarleau:</strong> 9 minutes into the 1st period of tonight's game. <strong></strong><strong></strong><br /><br /><strong>Tareq:</strong> Minute 13 of the 1st<br /><br /><strong>PK Arctic: </strong>1:23 of the 1st period<br /><br /><strong>Lang_2727:</strong> 7:00 into the first period-scored by Scott Gomez<br /><br /><strong>KoolKeith19:</strong> 8:46 in the 1st period-scored by Brian Gionta<br /><br /><strong>CyberCarotte:</strong> 11 minutes into the 1st period-scored by Tomes Plekanec<br /><br /><strong>Jorge Eduardo Chaparro:</strong> 16 minutes into the 2nd period-scored by Hal Gill<br /><br /><strong>FlirtyJo:</strong> 8:02 of the first period<br /><br /><strong>HeyMyNameIsWill:</strong> 8:42 of the first period scored by Tomas Plekanec<br /><br /><strong>mrd1808:</strong> 18:10 into the first period<br /><br /><strong>R_G_HOUSE:</strong> 8:52 left in the first period-scored by Brian Gionta assisted by Scott Gomez<br /><br /><strong>RichardObrand:</strong> 7:42 into the first-scored by Mike Cammalleri<br /><br /><strong>NastyKnate:</strong> 3:42 into the first perid-scored by PK Subban from James Wisniewski and Tomas Plekanec-on the Powerplay<br /><br /><strong>JimmyCorp:</strong> 45 seconds into the first period<br /><br /><strong>HaraniT:</strong> 14:00 into the first period-Scored by P.K. Subban<br /><br /><strong>__Danno: </strong>3:33 of the 1st period-Scored by Hal Gill<br /><br /><strong>Max_Habs:</strong> 2:00 into the second period-Scored by Andrei Kostitsyn<br /><br /><strong>SeanRCampbell:</strong> 5:10 into the second period-Against Carolina<br /><br /><strong>tec4_Cleveland:</strong> 8:21 into the second period-Scored by David Desharnais<br /><br /><strong>cdiraddo:</strong> 2:00 into the first period<br /><br /><strong>Blockersave93:</strong> 16:00 into the first period-Scored by Paul Mara on the Powerplay<br /><br /><strong>HabsGirl4Life:</strong> 6:00 into the 2nd period-Scored by Benoit Pouliot<br /><br /><strong>rgolteez:</strong> 9:00 into the first period-Scored by Brian Gionta<br /><br /><strong>lbass007:</strong> 1:00 into the first period<br /><br /><strong>Kuyaz</strong>: 11:21 into the first period-scored by Scott Gomez assisted by Brian Gionta<br /><br /><strong>AnneLaur:</strong> 3:43 into the first period-Scored by Brian Gionta<br /><br /><strong>TomPalko:</strong> 2:00 into the first period-Scored by Travis Moen<br /><br /><strong>anxnguyen:</strong> 6:00 into the second period-Scored by Andrei Kostitsyn<br /><br /><strong>HabItHerWay:</strong> 7:08 of the first period-Scored by Ryan White<br /><br /><strong>Jess: </strong>7:36 into the first perod-Scored by Tomas Plekanec<br /><br /><strong>habsfan21:</strong> 8:08 into the first period-Scored by James Wisniewski<br /><br /><strong>LadyHabs:</strong> 4:15 into the first period-Scored by P.K. Subban<br /><br /><strong>GreyKnutson:</strong> 11:11 in the first period-scored by Scott Gomez<br /><br /><strong>NMakris:</strong> 7:31 left in the first period-Scored by Brian Gionta<br /><br /><strong>MatJacobson:</strong> 12:20 into the first period scored by Andrei Kostitsyn<br /><br /><strong>bsimco:</strong> 3:25 into the 2nd period-Tomas Plekanec will be involved<br /><br /><strong>robi90:</strong> 5:06 of the first period-Scored by Mathieu Darche<br /><br /><strong>Bandit132:</strong> 5:45 in the first period<br /><br /><strong>TeepRock:</strong> 7 minutes into the 1st period-Scored by Benoit Pouliot<br /><br /><strong>JoeT_GBA:</strong> 8:21 of the second period-Scored by Michael Cammalleri on the Powerplay<br /><br /><strong>DBlye: </strong>12:35 into the first period-Scored by Andrei Kostitsyn<br /><br /><strong>Robert Shaps:</strong> 11:01 into the 1st period-Scored by Brian<br /><br /><strong>ivanessat:</strong> 13:06 of the second period-Scored by Mike Cammalleri<br /><br /><strong>habsfollow: </strong>3:30 into the first period-Scored by Mike Cammalleri<br /><br />Bensucks: 15:28 of the first-Scored by Tomas Plekanec<br /><br />Habsobserver: 7:00 of the first-Scored by Tomas Plekanec<br /><br />DustinG: 4:00 into the first period-Scored by Andrei Kostitsyn<br /><br />Habsfan4ever: 2:21 into the first period-Scored by Mike Cammalleri<br /><br />Somesuperhotchick: 12:27 into the first period-Scored by PK Subban<br /><br />BigSee80: 5:00 into the first-Scored by Mathieu Darche<br /><br />ArponBasu: 11:17 into the first-Scored by Andrei Kostitsyn<br /><br />EricEngels: 3:00 minutes into the first period-Score by Tomas Plekanec<br /><br />BradBernhardt: 5:23 in the first-Scored by Brian Gionta<br /><br />Touteparpillee: 16:27 in the first period-Scored by Benoit Pouliot<br /><br />RiRi2514: 8:25 into the first-Scored by Brian Gionta<br /><br />Habsfan324: 17:57 into the first-Scored by James Wisniewski<br /><br />RagingLogan: 5:50 into the first-Scored by Paul Mara<br /><br />Sir Gary Thomas: 9:45 into the first period.<br /><br />MarkovHabFan79: 12:00 into the first period-Scored by Brian Gionta<br /><br />Scotty 89: 5:24 into the first period-Scored by David Desharnais<br /><br />DrDougMartin: 10:00 into the first period-Scored by Mike Cammalleri<br /><br />ElJayHabs: 11:00 into the first period-Scored by Brian Gionta<br /><br />TheTonyJones: 7:37 of the second period-Scored by Scott Gomez<br /><br />Habziefan09: 5:00 into the first period-Scored by Scott Gomez<br /><br />Simon Booth: 7:00 into the first period-Scored by Tomas Plekanec<br /><br />Noah_McCabe:2:32 into the first period-Scored by Benoit Pouliot<br /><br />JaredBook: 4:32 of the second period-Scored by Travis MoenUnknownnoreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6234445774355446184.post-4835970669754868772011-03-23T10:44:00.002-04:002011-03-23T10:49:55.079-04:00Tweet Ten Jobs we'd like to see Matt Cooke do now that he's suspended10. Stanchion Tester<br />9. Rodeo Clown<br />8. GSP's punching bag<br />7. Movie floor cleaner-tongue only<br />6. Rebecca Black song listener<br />5. Don Cherry NHL name translator<br />4. Urinal cake taster<br />3.Host of the new reality show 'beat the crao out of the host of this show'<br />2. Mario Leimieux ass-kisser<br />1. Gary Bettman's personal booster seatUnknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6234445774355446184.post-85181860127034143902011-03-09T21:38:00.001-05:002011-03-10T00:11:42.876-05:00Not so Habs Laughs-Max Pacioretty edition<p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">If you’ve been following me for the past year and a bit you know that I never stray into the analytical side of things. I like to leave the commentary to the experts and choose to take a comedic approach to the Montreal Canadiens and the NHL as a whole. </span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">I am going to post my thoughts on the Chara/Pacioretty incident and just this once cross over into the more serious side of blogging. </span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">By now you have seen the hit from every angle; I am not going to talk about the hit. </span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">I am going to talk about the result; I am going to talk about the health of Max Pacioretty. </span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">What bothers me about the verdict that the NHL passed on to Chara is simply based on the fact that Max Pacioretty is still in the hospital. He will undergo serious therapy for the coming months, and will most likely never be the same player and person once he has ‘recovered’ from this ordeal. Zdeno Chara will continue on with his life as if nothing happened. </span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">As far as I know Zdeno Chara never apologized for the incident. He stated that the incident was ‘unfortunate’, which is in no way shape or form an apology. I have no relationship with Zdeno Chara, I don’t know what he is like away from a Hockey rink, but I hope to God that he is losing sleep over this situation.</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">Zdeno Chara put a 23 year old kid who was just breaking into the NHL in the hospital. Whether or not it was done with intent is debatable, but at the end of the day whether or not Max Pacioretty plays another Hockey game is still in question. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes"></span></span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">I feel terrible for Max Pacioretty. I feel cheated the Zdeno Chara’s actions went unpunished-not because of the intent, but because of the result. Not from a Hockey perspective, but from a personal perspective. I’m not going to get into how the NHL justice system works; I am just stating that as a human being I feel like Zdeno Chara NEEDS to experience consequences for his actions. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes"></span></span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">I know life isn’t fair, and Zdeno Chara being able to celebrate with his teammates after goals, after winning games, after winning playoff rounds…is simply the height of unfairness. </span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">Did the NHL drop the ball by not giving Chara any kind of punishment? I’ll leave that to the experts, I simply cannot give an objective opinion on the matter.</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"></span>I know the NHL cannot give suspensions based on the fact that it is ‘the right thing to do’, but Max Pacioretty will never be the same again and it is Zdeno Chara’s fault. </span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">Regardless of intent. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes"></span></span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Go Max Pacioretty Go</strong></span></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6234445774355446184.post-42788442531371313692011-03-08T23:51:00.002-05:002011-03-08T23:54:19.339-05:00Tweet Ten other things you didn't know about Hal Gill.<p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">Before we get into things-<strong>good vibes for Max Pacioretty.</strong></span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">Holy Crap-Hal Gill is a sniper! Here are some other things you didn't know about him.</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"></span> </p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">10. Frequently uses Scott Gomez as a pillow. </span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">9.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Does not know why the team is called the Sabres, but their logo is a Buffalo. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">8. His family pressured him to be a basketball player, but stereotypically; he can’t jump.</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">7. Thinks that P.K. stands for ‘Pretty Kool’</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">6. Still a firm believer that Zdeno Chara is some kind of mythical creature. </span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">5. Has no idea why God frequently announces updates during games. </span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">4.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Used Pierre McGuire as a Q-tip once.</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">3. The King’s Speech is loosely based off of Hal Gill’s life. </span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">2. Does both voices in the Dagwoods 5 after 5 commercial. True story. </span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">1. Thinks that ‘Titanic’ is a documentary.</span></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6234445774355446184.post-11801622828250140612011-02-27T21:53:00.003-05:002011-02-27T22:00:34.161-05:00Inside Pierre Gauthier's War Room<p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">The trade deadline is under 24 hours away and every Habs fan is up in arms about what Pierre Gauthier will (or won’t) do in the hours to come. The Interim GM (not officially, but everyone knows a dude who has never played an NHL game isn’t qualified to be the Habs GM) has made some moves but so far he hasn’t dropped any jaws. </span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">Everyone out there seems to think that Pierre Gauthier is just sitting back and enjoying his life while every other GM is improving their team with trades and waiver claims.</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">They’re wrong.</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">Habs Laughs was recently invited (invited, pretended I was a plumber and installed a hidden camera…whatever) to the GMs office and had a first glace look at what the GM has done thus far.</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">Enjoy.</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Inside Pierre Gauthier’s War Room</strong></span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>January 23<sup>rd</sup> 2011</strong></span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Pierre Gauthier:</strong> I disagree; I think they can both make a great impact.</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Jacques Martin:</strong> You’re right, but they are totally different. One is all about size, the other is about style.</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Kirk Muller:</strong> Style? We don’t need style, I need size.</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Jacques Martin:</strong> You mean we need size.</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Kirk Muller:</strong> Whatever.</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Pierre Gauthier:</strong> The bottom line is, I have two options, they’re both guarantees. All I need to do is pick up the phone, call one of them and it’s done.</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Kirk Muller:</strong> I say we go with size. The team is hungry. If we’re only a phone call away then I see no harm in bringing it in. </span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Jacques Martin:</strong> I was just going to say that. </span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Pierre Gauthier:</strong> Alright, I’ll call him up.</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">He picks up the phone.</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Pierre Gauthier:</strong> Hello, Dominos? 4 Extra Large pepperoni please.</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Jacques Martin:</strong> I want Cinastix!</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">--</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>February 1<sup>st</sup> 2011</strong></span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">*We enter to find Pierre Gauthier on the phone*</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Pierre Gauthier:</strong> I know I know, I just….Yes I know. Well you know what they say: two heads are better than one haha!….you know I kind of did you a favour, you semi owe me Dave. You freaking gave me Dan Ellis! ….but he COULD have been! You know what the fans would have done if he had that twitter explosion as a Hab?...need I remind you of what they do when we win a playoff round?...Do you want that on your head? Look all I’m saying is-take the brother! What do you have to lose?...ASIDE from Hockey games?....ASIDE from fans? I’ll throw in the brother, a first round pick AND David Desharnais, the kid is totally the next Martin St. Louis, Eklund said so! You can’t lo----Hello?...Hello? </span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">Damn.</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">--</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>February 17<sup>th</sup> 2011</strong></span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Trevor Timmins:</strong> Is it true that you just traded for Paul Mara?</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Pierre Gauthier:</strong> How did you know that?</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Trevor Timmins:</strong> It’s all over Twitter! You traded that pick we got for Lapierre? I already knew the 5’11 collegiate center I was going to draft with that!</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Pierre Gauthier:</strong> I hadn’t even made the trade call to the league yet, how did twitter know? Who reported it?</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Trevor Timmins:</strong> Bob McKenzie.</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Pierre Gauthier:</strong> How the hell did he know?</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Trevor Timmins:</strong> Well, he’s standing right there.</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Bob McKenzie:</strong> Yo!</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Pierre Gauthier:</strong> GAAH!!</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Bob McKenzie:</strong> I'm the insider!</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">*McKenzie disappears*</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Pierre Gauthier:</strong> I feel violated.</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p><span style="font-family:Calibri;"> </span></o:p></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">--</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>February 20<sup>th</sup> 2011</strong></span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Pierre Gauthier:</strong> Thank you all for coming, I called you all in here today to discuss a very pressing issue.</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Brian Burke:</strong> You’re not truculent?</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Ken Holland:</strong> You’re secretly Bob Gainey?</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Pierre Gauthier:</strong> No no, I wanted to get you all in the same room because I don’t want anyone saying I didn’t try to do what I’m about to do.</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Steve Yzerman:</strong> This isn’t some kind of time share thing is it?</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Pierre Gauthier:</strong> No, but it is an investment, a one time opportunity to get your hands on something that will help your team forever.</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Peter Chiarelli:</strong> Toronto’s draft picks?</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Pierre Gauthier:</strong> No, I am talking about….Scott Gomez.</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Scott Gomez:</strong> That’s why I’m here?</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Glen Sather:</strong> HA!</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Mike Gillis:</strong> I’m out.</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Ray Shero:</strong> I’ve lost by two best players and even I don’t want him.</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Pierre Gauthier:</strong> Wait! This is my last ditch effort! I paid for all of your flights and accommodations, the least you can do is hear me out!</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Bryan Murray: </strong>You didn’t pay for my flight or accommodations!</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Pierre Gauthier:</strong> Well, you’re not really a GM.</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Lou Lamoriello:</strong> Burn.</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Pierre Gauthier:</strong> Scott, tell them why you’re awesome.</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Scott Gomez:</strong> Are you serious? This isn’t going to work.</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Pierre Gauthier:</strong> It better work, if you stay here things are going to be super awkward and I hate awkward situations. I traded Ryan O’Byrne because one time I went into the bathroom and someone was taking a dump, but the person didn’t hear me come in and really let it go. He came out of the stall when I was washing my hands. Super awkward. </span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Scott Gomez:</strong> Anybody want me?</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">*Silence*</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Pierre Gauthier:</strong> Crap!</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Scott Gomez:</strong> I hate you Pierre.</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Pierre Gauthier:</strong> Yeah well, you’re richer than me.</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Scott Gomez:</strong> True. </span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>February 25<sup>th</sup> 2011</strong></span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Jacques Martin:</strong> He’s most likely out for the year.</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Pierre Gauthier:</strong> Eff.</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Jacques Martin:</strong> …Gee?</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Pierre Gauthier:</strong> Man you’re dumb sometimes.</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Jacques Martin:</strong> What are we going to do about this?</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Pierre Gauthier:</strong> I don’t know, I’ve traded for so many 7<sup>th</sup> defensemen, it’s kind of sad.</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Jacques Martin:</strong> Lyle Odelein owes us a favour, want me to call him?</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Pierre Gauthier:</strong> *sigh* I already called him. </span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Jacques Martin:</strong> Well, we can always trade for one more. </span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Pierre Gauthier:</strong> What does NHL 11 say?</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Carey Price:</strong> It says Atlanta will give us Brent Sopel and Nigel Dawes for Ben Maxwell and a 4<sup>th </sup>Round pick. </span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Pierre Gauthier:</strong> You know, that can work, good work Carey.</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Carey Price:</strong> Pass the Cheetos.</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Pierre Gauthier:</strong> K</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><strong>Jacques Martin:</strong> El?</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">--</span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 10pt" class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span style="font-family:Calibri;"> </span></o:p></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6234445774355446184.post-6157717273289793882011-02-15T19:10:00.004-05:002011-02-27T22:14:37.717-05:00Tweet Ten Best Moments of Pierre Gauthier's First Year<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-family:'Arial','sans-serif';color:black;">10. Finally figured out how to set up his</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-family:'Arial','sans-serif';color:black;"> </span></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-family:'Arial','sans-serif';color:black;"><a href="http://linkedin.com/" target="_blank">linkedin.com</a></span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-family:'Arial','sans-serif';color:black;"> </span></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-family:'Arial','sans-serif';color:black;">account!</span></span><span style="font-family:'Arial','sans-serif';color:black;"><br /><br /><span class="apple-style-span">9. That time when Jaroslav Halak sealed his fate by not letting him win at</span> <span class="apple-style-span">connect 4.</span><br /><br /><span class="apple-style-span">8. Getting Justin Biebers autograph.</span><br /><br /><span class="apple-style-span">7. Succesfully continuing the tradition of releasing and then signing a </span><span class="apple-style-span">better 3rd to 4<sup>th</sup></span> <span class="apple-style-span">line center.</span><br /><br /><span class="apple-style-span">6. Tricking Tomas Plekanec into signing that 5 million peso per year </span><span class="apple-style-span">contract.</span><br /><br /><span class="apple-style-span">5. Signing Alex Auld- the best goalie in the nhl whose last name rhymes</span><br /><span class="apple-style-span">with his hairstyle.</span><br /><br /><span class="apple-style-span">4. Similar to Mario Lemieux and Sidney Crosby, Gauthier moved in to Price's</span><br /><span class="apple-style-span">basement.</span><br /><br /><span class="apple-style-span">3. Successfully keeping the secret that he is in some kind of 'face off'</span><br /><span class="apple-style-span">situation with Bob Gainey.</span><br /><br /><span class="apple-style-span">2. Not re-signing Marc-Andre Bergeron</span><br /><br /><span class="apple-style-span">1.Nabbed future Norris trophy winner: Bret Festerling</span><br /></span></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6234445774355446184.post-58258503742469682512011-02-06T11:08:00.002-05:002011-02-06T11:11:33.199-05:00Tweet Ten signs your Superbowl party sucks.<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"></p><div style="text-align: left;"><b>10.</b> There’s Quiche.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><b><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b><div style="text-align: left; display: inline !important; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b>9. </b>During halftime the host makes you play ‘Glee Karaoke’</span></div></b></span></div></b><b><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b><br /></b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b>8.</b> On your betting spreadsheet, Troy Polamalu is listed as ‘That dude with the hair from the head and shoulders commercials’</span></div></b><b><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b><br /></b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b>7.</b> The beer is non-alcoholic because the host’s parents think that you don’t need alcohol to have a good time. </span></div></b><b><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b><br /></b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b>6.</b> You’re attending some kind of online video chat thingy. </span></div></b><b><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b><br /></b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b>5.</b> It's the week earlier and you're watching the Pro Bowl. </span></div></b><b><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b>4.</b> The host doesn't get the American commercials.</span></div></b><b><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b><br /></b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b>3.</b> Everyone there is only there because there was a Habs game on that afternoon. </span></div></b><b><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b><br /></b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b>2.</b> Did I mention there’s Quiche? </span></div></b><b><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b><br /></b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b>1.</b> The Host doesn’t have HD and it turns out you’ve been watching a rerun of the 1987 Grey Cup the entire time. </span></div></b><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><b><span style="font-size:12.0pt;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin"></span></b></p><p></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6234445774355446184.post-559585802864675522011-01-29T17:25:00.002-05:002011-01-29T17:34:31.538-05:00Things overheard at the NHL All-Star Fantasy Draft.<p class="MsoNormal">Well, the first ever NHL All-Star Fantasy Draft is in the books, and Habs Laughs was there with a few mics of our own! This is what we were able to catch from the festivities. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">---</p><p class="MsoNormal"><b>Carey Price:</b> Last year he took a clapper from inside the circle…almost killed me. Hit the glass before I moved….so happy it missed my head. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Tim Thomas:</b> Wow.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Carey Price:</b> Yeah…</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Tim Thomas (to David Backes): </b>Do you know who this kid is?</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>David Backes:</b> Shia Labeouf? </p> <p class="MsoNormal">---</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Paul Statsny:</b> Really? Two first rounders?</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Phil Kessel:</b> Yep</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Paul Statsny:</b> And Boston is…</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Phil Kessel: </b>Still good without me yes.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Paul Stastny: </b>Damn….enjoy the car dude.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Phil Kessel:</b> *Sigh* Thanks.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">---</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Henrik Sedin:</b> Everyone is expecting us to do some kind of Olsen Twins thing and switch places.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Henrik Sedin:</b> You’re not Henrik, I’m Henrik.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Daniel Sedin:</b> Oh yeah. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">---</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Alex Ovechkin:</b> And they say ‘you shave and we give money’ so I shave.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Jeff Skinner:</b> What’s shaving like?</p> <p class="MsoNormal">---</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>James Duthie:</b> Ladies and Gentlemen, your NHL ALL-Star rookies!</p> <p class="MsoNormal">*General applause*</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Mike Richards:</b> I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE! *Jumps out window*</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Taylor Hall:</b> Dude that’s probably your fault.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>P.K. Subban: </b>Ehn.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">---</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Eric Staal:</b> If we don’t pick Chara, he might he might eat us.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Ryan Kesler:</b> True.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Eric Staal:</b> We pick Chara.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Nik Lidstrom:</b> Hey Zdeno…are you going to eat us because we didn’t pick you?</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Zdeno Chara:</b>…..I might. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">---</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Matt Duchene:</b> Come one man say it.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Jamie McBain: </b>I dunno…</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Duncan Keith: </b>Say it!</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Jamie McBain:</b> Come one guys…</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Cam Fowler:</b> FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SAY IT!</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Jamie McBain:</b> Fine!....Up And At Zem! </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>All:</b> Aaaaaahhhh!</p> <p class="MsoNormal">---</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>James Duthie:</b> Hey Phil, Have you met Tyl---ooohhhhh right.</p><p class="MsoNormal">---</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Henrik Lundqvist:</b> So, was that a conscious decision to put those glasses on this morning when you left the house?</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Jonas Hiller:</b> Yeah…</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Henrik Lundqvist:</b> Just wondering.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">---</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Dustin Byfuglien:</b> Kaner, Cap’s serious…we’re on the same team again!</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Patrick Kane:</b> Looks like it.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Jonathan Toews:</b> Yep</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Dustin Byfuglien: </b>Ha-ha now Sharp is Byfuglien!!!</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Patrick Kane: </b>No…it’s still you.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Dustin Byfuglien:</b><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"><b> </b> </span>Awww…. Hey by the way, I still haven’t gotten my cup ring.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Jonathan Toews:</b> I wouldn’t know anything about that.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">---</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>James Duthie:</b> So how does it feel to be an all-star again?</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Martin Havlat:</b> It’s best I not say or do anything at risk of my agent going on a twitter rampage.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>James Duthie:</b>….fair enough.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">---</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Brad Richards:</b> Hey man, I’m glad I had a chance to talk to you.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Corey Perry:</b> What’s up?</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Brad Richards:</b> I wanted to be the one to extend an invitation for you to join the NHL Two First Names club.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Corey Perry:</b> Wow, I’m honored!</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Duncan Keith: </b>It really is awesome.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Tim Thomas:</b> The perks are fantastic.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Rick Nash:</b> And the women are off the charts!</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Corey Perry:</b> Uhh..</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Rick Nash:</b> Nash Bridges was a very popular show!</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6234445774355446184.post-23996729674873022672011-01-29T12:08:00.000-05:002011-01-29T12:09:05.613-05:00Tweet Ten rejected skills competition events.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; border-collapse: collapse; "><div><b>10.</b> The ‘Get Alex Kovalev To Try’ competition.</div><div><b>9.</b> Head shot accuracy competition.<br /><b>8. </b>The Bruce Boudreau F bomb count!<br /><b>7.</b> The rookie spin-a-rama shootout.<br /><b>6.</b> The Guess what Ovechkin is trying to say competition.<br /><b>5.</b> The ‘Try not to score on Martin Brodeur’ contest.<br /><b>4.</b> The ‘Guess where Nabokov will play’ trivia game.<br /><b>3.</b> The James Wisniewski Mime showdown.<br /><b>2.</b> The Spell Cammalleri spelling bee<br /><b>1.</b> Chase the greased up mascot contest</div></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6234445774355446184.post-90251746384071391242011-01-22T09:47:00.004-05:002011-01-22T13:59:10.788-05:00Actual Odds on Saku Koivu's return<div style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); ">Sometimes you just can't make comedy up...sometimes you have to find it in unexpected places...sometimes you have to wait for someone to tell you that something is funny....and that is what happened today.</span></div><div style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><br /></span></div><div style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); ">Credit <b>Matthew Ross, Radio Host on Game Points on the Team 990</b> (</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(66, 66, 66); font-family: arial, Verdana, 'trebuchet ms', sans-serif; font-size: 12px; border-collapse: collapse; line-height: 16px; ">Sundays 6pm-8pm and Tuesdays 11pm-1am, also home of the Tweet Ten) for sending me this info.</span></div><div style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(66, 66, 66); font-family: arial, Verdana, 'trebuchet ms', sans-serif; font-size: 12px; border-collapse: collapse; line-height: 16px; "><br /></span></div><div style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(66, 66, 66); font-family: arial, Verdana, 'trebuchet ms', sans-serif; font-size: 12px; border-collapse: collapse; line-height: 16px; ">You know that people these days will bet on anything.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(66, 66, 66); font-family: arial, Verdana, 'trebuchet ms', sans-serif; font-size: 12px; border-collapse: collapse; line-height: 16px; "> From the color of the post-game Gatorade dump to how many goals Martin Brodeur will let in within a 5 minute span...no rock is left overturned.</span></div><div style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(66, 66, 66); font-family: arial, Verdana, 'trebuchet ms', sans-serif; font-size: 12px; border-collapse: collapse; line-height: 16px; "><br /></span></div><div style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(66, 66, 66); font-family: arial, Verdana, 'trebuchet ms', sans-serif; font-size: 12px; border-collapse: collapse; line-height: 16px; ">Leave it to<b> www.bodog.ca</b> to make up some odds on the return of Saku Koivu tonight. Take a look at the lines below. </span></div><div style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(66, 66, 66); font-family: arial, Verdana, 'trebuchet ms', sans-serif; font-size: 12px; border-collapse: collapse; line-height: 16px; "><br /></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span"><b>Will Saku Koivu (ANA) score a goal?</b></span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span">Yes +325 ( or 13/4)</span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span">No -450 ( or 2/9)</span><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span"><b>Will Saku Koivu (ANA) record a point?</b></span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span">Yes +140 (or 7/5)</span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span">No -170 (or 10/17)</span><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span"><b>Will Saku Koivu (ANA) be the first star of the Game?</b></span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span">Yes -150 (or 2/3)</span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span">No +110 (or 11/10)</span><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span">What this is saying is that in their opinion Saku Koivu is favored to be the First Star of the game, but not favored at all to record a point in it.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span">Only in Montreal. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span">Go Habs Go.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span">Welcome back Saku. </span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0