Tweet Ten Predictions for the 2011 MLB Season

Special Baseball edition of the Tweet Ten-Yeah...I can make fun of Baseball players too.

10. Manny Ramirez will show up to White Sox opening day because even he forgot he signed with the Rays.

9.Jose Bautista will not repeat his dream season due to the fact that Vernon Wells is no longer around to give him his special 'power bars'

8.Tim Lincecum will finally get all those jokes everyone keeps making about his last name. OR: Similar to the Mitchell Report-Tim Lincecum will release a list of every player he has ever smoked up with.

7. To make a statement, 20,000 Expos fans will head to DC to make their presence known at a Nationals game-5,000 will instantly head home due to the fact that it's not 1$ hot dog night.

6.After years of decision making, Phil Coke will sign a sponsorship deal with Coca Cola, who narrowly beat out the entire country of Columbia.

5.To outdo the Yankees, the Rays will make Johnny Damon shave all of his body hair right before his first at bat.

4.After an off-season of English lessons, the Yankees second baseman will let everyone know that his last name is actually pronounced 'Canoe'

3. Due to pressure from the front office Ron Halliday will get his PhD-adhering to the Phillies' 'literal nickname' policy.

2. Albert Pujols will cause an uproar when he gets rid of his batting gloves and starts using the 'Moises Alou Method' for grip.

1.The MLB will retire Youppi's Exclamation Mark.

Habs Goal Pool

WINNER: Congrats to DBlye! Predicted the goal to be scored at 13:35 into the first-Was the closest out of everyone.

Fact-The Montreal Canadiens have been shut out in 3 straight games.
Fact-It's so sad, it's kind of funny.
Fact-Alaska is close to breaking up with Scott Gomez.

The Habs haven't scored in a while-I've started the Habs Goal Pool to get some entertainment out of the whole ordeal.

Leave a comment with your thoughts on when you think the Habs will score the next goal, bonus points for who scored it.

The winner gets a beer on me.

My Prediction: 13:35 into the first period-Scored by Lars Eller

Entrees:

MetricJulie:4th minute into tonight's game.

MeredithBedard: 9:27 into the first period-scored by James Wisniewki

Mechant_Mangeur: 44 seconds into the game-scored by Brian Gionta

MrBeersNYR: November 3rd 2011 8:23 PM-Most realistic prediction?

MattMarleau: 9 minutes into the 1st period of tonight's game.

Tareq: Minute 13 of the 1st

PK Arctic: 1:23 of the 1st period

Lang_2727: 7:00 into the first period-scored by Scott Gomez

KoolKeith19: 8:46 in the 1st period-scored by Brian Gionta

CyberCarotte: 11 minutes into the 1st period-scored by Tomes Plekanec

Jorge Eduardo Chaparro: 16 minutes into the 2nd period-scored by Hal Gill

FlirtyJo: 8:02 of the first period

HeyMyNameIsWill: 8:42 of the first period scored by Tomas Plekanec

mrd1808: 18:10 into the first period

R_G_HOUSE: 8:52 left in the first period-scored by Brian Gionta assisted by Scott Gomez

RichardObrand: 7:42 into the first-scored by Mike Cammalleri

NastyKnate: 3:42 into the first perid-scored by PK Subban from James Wisniewski and Tomas Plekanec-on the Powerplay

JimmyCorp: 45 seconds into the first period

HaraniT: 14:00 into the first period-Scored by P.K. Subban

__Danno: 3:33 of the 1st period-Scored by Hal Gill

Max_Habs: 2:00 into the second period-Scored by Andrei Kostitsyn

SeanRCampbell: 5:10 into the second period-Against Carolina

tec4_Cleveland: 8:21 into the second period-Scored by David Desharnais

cdiraddo: 2:00 into the first period

Blockersave93: 16:00 into the first period-Scored by Paul Mara on the Powerplay

HabsGirl4Life: 6:00 into the 2nd period-Scored by Benoit Pouliot

rgolteez: 9:00 into the first period-Scored by Brian Gionta

lbass007: 1:00 into the first period

Kuyaz: 11:21 into the first period-scored by Scott Gomez assisted by Brian Gionta

AnneLaur: 3:43 into the first period-Scored by Brian Gionta

TomPalko: 2:00 into the first period-Scored by Travis Moen

anxnguyen: 6:00 into the second period-Scored by Andrei Kostitsyn

HabItHerWay: 7:08 of the first period-Scored by Ryan White

Jess: 7:36 into the first perod-Scored by Tomas Plekanec

habsfan21: 8:08 into the first period-Scored by James Wisniewski

LadyHabs: 4:15 into the first period-Scored by P.K. Subban

GreyKnutson: 11:11 in the first period-scored by Scott Gomez

NMakris: 7:31 left in the first period-Scored by Brian Gionta

MatJacobson: 12:20 into the first period scored by Andrei Kostitsyn

bsimco: 3:25 into the 2nd period-Tomas Plekanec will be involved

robi90: 5:06 of the first period-Scored by Mathieu Darche

Bandit132: 5:45 in the first period

TeepRock: 7 minutes into the 1st period-Scored by Benoit Pouliot

JoeT_GBA: 8:21 of the second period-Scored by Michael Cammalleri on the Powerplay

DBlye: 12:35 into the first period-Scored by Andrei Kostitsyn

Robert Shaps: 11:01 into the 1st period-Scored by Brian

ivanessat: 13:06 of the second period-Scored by Mike Cammalleri

habsfollow: 3:30 into the first period-Scored by Mike Cammalleri

Bensucks: 15:28 of the first-Scored by Tomas Plekanec

Habsobserver: 7:00 of the first-Scored by Tomas Plekanec

DustinG: 4:00 into the first period-Scored by Andrei Kostitsyn

Habsfan4ever: 2:21 into the first period-Scored by Mike Cammalleri

Somesuperhotchick: 12:27 into the first period-Scored by PK Subban

BigSee80: 5:00 into the first-Scored by Mathieu Darche

ArponBasu: 11:17 into the first-Scored by Andrei Kostitsyn

EricEngels: 3:00 minutes into the first period-Score by Tomas Plekanec

BradBernhardt: 5:23 in the first-Scored by Brian Gionta

Touteparpillee: 16:27 in the first period-Scored by Benoit Pouliot

RiRi2514: 8:25 into the first-Scored by Brian Gionta

Habsfan324: 17:57 into the first-Scored by James Wisniewski

RagingLogan: 5:50 into the first-Scored by Paul Mara

Sir Gary Thomas: 9:45 into the first period.

MarkovHabFan79: 12:00 into the first period-Scored by Brian Gionta

Scotty 89: 5:24 into the first period-Scored by David Desharnais

DrDougMartin: 10:00 into the first period-Scored by Mike Cammalleri

ElJayHabs: 11:00 into the first period-Scored by Brian Gionta

TheTonyJones: 7:37 of the second period-Scored by Scott Gomez

Habziefan09: 5:00 into the first period-Scored by Scott Gomez

Simon Booth: 7:00 into the first period-Scored by Tomas Plekanec

Noah_McCabe:2:32 into the first period-Scored by Benoit Pouliot

JaredBook: 4:32 of the second period-Scored by Travis Moen

Tweet Ten Jobs we'd like to see Matt Cooke do now that he's suspended

10. Stanchion Tester
9. Rodeo Clown
8. GSP's punching bag
7. Movie floor cleaner-tongue only
6. Rebecca Black song listener
5. Don Cherry NHL name translator
4. Urinal cake taster
3.Host of the new reality show 'beat the crao out of the host of this show'
2. Mario Leimieux ass-kisser
1. Gary Bettman's personal booster seat

Not so Habs Laughs-Max Pacioretty edition

If you’ve been following me for the past year and a bit you know that I never stray into the analytical side of things. I like to leave the commentary to the experts and choose to take a comedic approach to the Montreal Canadiens and the NHL as a whole.

I am going to post my thoughts on the Chara/Pacioretty incident and just this once cross over into the more serious side of blogging.

By now you have seen the hit from every angle; I am not going to talk about the hit.

I am going to talk about the result; I am going to talk about the health of Max Pacioretty.

What bothers me about the verdict that the NHL passed on to Chara is simply based on the fact that Max Pacioretty is still in the hospital. He will undergo serious therapy for the coming months, and will most likely never be the same player and person once he has ‘recovered’ from this ordeal. Zdeno Chara will continue on with his life as if nothing happened.

As far as I know Zdeno Chara never apologized for the incident. He stated that the incident was ‘unfortunate’, which is in no way shape or form an apology. I have no relationship with Zdeno Chara, I don’t know what he is like away from a Hockey rink, but I hope to God that he is losing sleep over this situation.

Zdeno Chara put a 23 year old kid who was just breaking into the NHL in the hospital. Whether or not it was done with intent is debatable, but at the end of the day whether or not Max Pacioretty plays another Hockey game is still in question.

I feel terrible for Max Pacioretty. I feel cheated the Zdeno Chara’s actions went unpunished-not because of the intent, but because of the result. Not from a Hockey perspective, but from a personal perspective. I’m not going to get into how the NHL justice system works; I am just stating that as a human being I feel like Zdeno Chara NEEDS to experience consequences for his actions.

I know life isn’t fair, and Zdeno Chara being able to celebrate with his teammates after goals, after winning games, after winning playoff rounds…is simply the height of unfairness.

Did the NHL drop the ball by not giving Chara any kind of punishment? I’ll leave that to the experts, I simply cannot give an objective opinion on the matter.

I know the NHL cannot give suspensions based on the fact that it is ‘the right thing to do’, but Max Pacioretty will never be the same again and it is Zdeno Chara’s fault.

Regardless of intent.

Go Max Pacioretty Go

Tweet Ten other things you didn't know about Hal Gill.

Before we get into things-good vibes for Max Pacioretty.

Holy Crap-Hal Gill is a sniper! Here are some other things you didn't know about him.

10. Frequently uses Scott Gomez as a pillow.

9. Does not know why the team is called the Sabres, but their logo is a Buffalo.

8. His family pressured him to be a basketball player, but stereotypically; he can’t jump.

7. Thinks that P.K. stands for ‘Pretty Kool’

6. Still a firm believer that Zdeno Chara is some kind of mythical creature.

5. Has no idea why God frequently announces updates during games.

4. Used Pierre McGuire as a Q-tip once.

3. The King’s Speech is loosely based off of Hal Gill’s life.

2. Does both voices in the Dagwoods 5 after 5 commercial. True story.

1. Thinks that ‘Titanic’ is a documentary.