He is not the reincarnation of Jesus Christ, because Jesus Christ isn’t this good at Hockey.
His glove side is a black hole for Hockey pucks.
When cows see him on a horse, they tie themselves up.
Picasso rose from the dead to design him a new mask.
He has never made a routine save.
He wrote the lyrics to the Big Mac jingle.
His post-win poses can be seen from space.
Cabbies pay him for the privilege to drive him around.
The triple low five prevents the universe from exploding
He invented the Knucklepuck.
PK Subban does not have 2 younger brothers, he cloned PK Subban...and then cloned PK Subban’s clone.
He did not kill Osama Bin Laden, because everyone expected him to.
He persuaded Alexei Yemelin to come to North America by sending him a picture of himself with his arms crossed.
He hates Puck Bunnies, but loves Puck Alpacas.
Mark Zuckerberg is still waiting for him to accept his friend request.
He convinced the Penguins to lose their series so that Matt Cooke had no chance of playing another game this season.
He has seen the future and 1967 is still a thing there too.
He knows he is in the Matrix.
He convinced Chris Bosh to go to the Miami Heat, just so everyone would stop caring about Chris Bosh
The Montreal Impact are named after his Johnson.
He putts with a pool cue.
He has never written an autobiography, but he has written several manualbiographies.
He knew about Lando the moment he laid eyes on him.
He owns a time share with Barak Obama, Steve Jobs, and The Dalai Lama...on The Moon.
He can spell Schwarzenegger, but he won’t.
Carey Price: I don’t always fight, but when I do, I prefer Tim Thomas