Thursday, March 22, 2012

Habs 2011-2012 Season In Review

Well, this season has been pretty crap but at least that makes it pretty fun for me to make fun of them.

The 2011-2012 season will be a season to forget if not to remind us all about what should never ever happen again.

Here’s a 2011-2012 Player Review, here’s to a Gauthier-less 2012-2013.

Yeah, I’m not bitter or anything.

GHG


Carey Price
Positive: Will never have to deal with the playoff stress and pressure that Halak had to put up with while he was here.
Negative: Having to deal with Tim Tebow’s stupid prayers every Sunday.
2012-2013 Habs Laughs fearless Prediction: Will be the first NHL player to get penalized for “Roping”

Josh Gorges
Positive: Finally knows what a tenderized steak feels like.
Negative: Thinks he looks delicious whenever he looks in themirror.
2012-2013 Habs Laughs fearless Prediction: Will be the first defenseman to bruise the puck after blocking a shot.

P.K. Subban
Positive: Strength isn’t a question after watching him carry Tomas Kaberle and Chris Campoli all season.
Negative: Literally had to carry around Andrei Markov allseason.
2012-2013 Habs Laughs fearless Prediction: Will make a killing after he starts charging admission for his in practice fights.

Max Pacioretty
Positive: Makes Leafs fans cry a little inside when they see his jersey number
Negative: Only like, 15 years left of him.
2012-2013 Habs Laughs fearless Prediction: will spend all summer stunt-doubling for Hugh Jackman in the next X-Men movie

Brian Gionta
Positive: Will have a brand spanking new surgically repaired bicep next season.
Negative: Can’t close the lights in the dressing room due to the Gill trade
2012-2013 Habs Laughs fearless Prediction: Upon his request, the team will sign Yao Ming in the off season

Louis Leblanc
Positive: Eyebrows provided an extra layer of protection against high sticks
Negative: The French media probably hates him: http://aol.sportingnews.com/nhl/story/2012-03-20/carey-price-pk-subban-max-pacioretty-lars-eller-scott-gomez-montreal-canadiens?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter&utm_campaign=jessespector
2012-2013 Habs Laughs fearless Prediction: See: Guillaume Latendresse

David Desharnais
Positive: Proved that he can be an effective NHL playmaker and scorer.
Negative: On a last place team
2012-2013 Habs Laughs fearless Prediction: Will finally hit his growth spurt!

Alexei Emelin
Positive: Established himself as a hard, painful and nasty checker.
Negative: Does not understand a single word I am writing.
2012-2013 Habs Laughs fearless Prediction: Will play Ivan Drago’s son in Rocky 7.

Tomas Kaberle
Positive: Uh…
Negative: Everything
2012-2013 Habs Laughs fearless Prediction: Will use a stick so small that even Brian Gionta will call it too short.

Scott Gomez
Positive: Probably the 2nd or 3rd best Alaskan in the NHL
Negative: Not his bank account.
2012-2013 Habs Laughs fearless Prediction: Traded to the new expansion team The Wichita Thisteamtotallyexistsers for a 1st round pick and the right to Sidney Crosby from the Penguins.

Chris Campoli
Positive: I’m positive that he will be unemployed next season.
Negative: Can’t be happy about having less points than Scott Gomez
2012-2013 Habs Laughs fearless Prediction: Sucking

Pierre Gauthier
Positive: Nowhere to go but up
Negative: Go us to the ‘nowhere to go but up’ stage
2012-2013 Habs Laughs fearless Prediction: GM of the Leafs….please?