Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Pierre Gauthier and Marc Bergevin: A Comparison

                                                                          "I am smiling"

Pierre Gauthier and Marc Bergevin: A Comparison.

Fact: Marc Bergevin is the exact opposite of Pierre Gauthier.
Fact: 95% of Habs fans are happy about Bergevin being the new GM because he represents the return of class, smarts and all around niceness to the organization.
Fact: 5% of Habs fans are morons.
Marc Bergevin is the light at the end of the tunnel and Habs fans indeed feel like they’re in heaven after going through 2ish years of pure hell.
While Habs fans were quick to cut the cord connecting Gauthier to the Habs I want to go back for one more drag through mud…considering that’s what Gauthier did to the Canadiens during his time as Supreme Overlord of the team.  
Gauthier and Bergevin couldn’t be more different, here are some comparisons to prove just how different they actually are.

Marc Bergevin: Is very patient and friendly to the media. He graciously answered questions and made himself available for public appearances.
Pierre Gauthier: You paid for that cookie, right?

Marc Bergevin: Will be patient and tactical while exploring trade avenues with other General Managers throughout the league.
Pierre Gauthier: Swears that is was Gainey’s idea to trade Ryan McDonagh

Marc Bergevin: Has 20 years as an NHL player, time as an assistant coach, head of player development and Assistant General Manager on his impressive resume.
Pierre Gauthier: Has worked for the IRS, been a dentist specializing in root canals and was the General Manager of the Ottawa Senators.

Marc Bergevin: Is an overall nice guy.
Pierre Gauthier: Took the term “Nice guys finish last” way too seriously.

Marc Bergevin: Is a huge fan of the Bee Gees.
Pierre Gauthier: Gives everyone the heebeegeebees.

Marc Bergevin: Has a great sense of humour often being cited as a fantastic practical joker.
Pierre Gauthier: Idea of a joke is trading Mike Cammalleri for Rene Bourque. Get it?

Marc Bergevin: Is not a big drinker but does enjoy going for a few beers with his buddies every now
and then.
Pierre Gauthier: Drinks a glass full of Habs fans’ tears every night before bed.

Marc Bergevin: Knows this is a bit weird but loves drinking soft drinks through a straw.
Pierre Gauthier: Just sucks.

Marc Bergevin: Believes that the key to winning is by playing as a team.
Pierre Gauthier: Winning?

Marc Bergevin: Is all for the natural progression of the sport of Hockey.
Pierre Gauthier: Wants the red line added back in and thinks there’s too much shot blocking going on.

Marc Bergevin: Brings a breath of fresh air to the Canadiens organization.
Pierre Gauthier: Usually needs a breath of fresh air due to his head being up his own ass 90% of the time.

Marc Bergevin: Is keeping his distance from the student protestors, his business is Hockey.
Pierre Gauthier: Was overheard saying “Hey, aren’t those fees a bit too high?” to Gabriel Nadeau-Dubois.

Marc Bergevin: Is heavily invested in the future of the organization.
Pierre Gauthier: Is heavily invested in Facebook.

Marc Bergevin: Is spending time carefully searching for the perfect Head Coach.
Pierre Gauthier: Probably sits in first class while his wife and kids sit in coach.

Marc Bergevin: Doesn’t believe in quitting.
Pierre Gauthier: Doesn’t believe in quitting, he just does a terrible job and eventually gets fired.

Marc Bergevin: Wants to create a friendly repertoire with his players.
Pierre Gauthier: That will be $1,250, Mr. Cammalleri.

Marc Bergevin: Gives him a high five every time he runs into Youppi! in the hallway.
Pierre Gauthier: Yells “IT’S BACK” and runs away every time he runs into Youppi! in the hallway.