Tuesday, January 19, 2010

I know what Gainey did last Summer, Fall and Winter.

For me, this blog has been a long time coming...but we’ve already enjoyed/endured so much Habs this season...it seems unfair to just jump right into what I have planned...so it’s time to play catch up.

Here’s a time line of what went on and what you may have missed since the Habs got ousted by the Bruins last spring.

April 23rd 2009: After getting eliminated by the Bruins in the playoffs, Bob Gainey realizes that he has a ridiculous amount of pending UFAs and wonders why he didn’t try and sign them sooner.

June 1st 2009: Jacques Martin is introduced as the new head coach of the Montreal Canadiens. Among a lot of jibber jabber about his new system and respect for the team...he hints that his system will take a long time to learn and for fans to not expect results right away. The Media assures him that there is no pressure and that he should take his time after a short pregnant pause they collectively howl in laughter.

June 11th 2009: Penguins beat Red Wings in game 7 of Stanley Cup Final, Hal Gill dreams of a big pay raise.

June 26th 2009:
Habs select Louis Leblanc and give Habs fans tons of material to use in years to come in regards to the players the Habs passed on. Eg: ‘Man, in 2009 we passed on blank imagine if we picked him instead of Leblanc!’

June 29th 2009:
Bob Gainey brings up his team roster on his computer and hits ‘ctrl alt delete’

June 30th 2009:
THE trade goes down! Christopher stone hands, one of our highly touted defensive prospects in the college system that needs time to brew, and the reverse defector head to NYR in return for Taylor Pyatt’s brother (who knew he had one?) and former Calder trophy winner, Stanley Cup Champion, and multi millionaire Scott Gomez.

Gainey speaks to the media and answers all of their questions at once by saying that he knows Gomez isn’t Vincent Lecavalier, but the Lightning wanted the right to Komisarek, and we can’t afford to give him up...even for Vinny.

July 1st 2009:
Bob Gainey swears for the first time in 25 years.

Also on July 1st 2009:

Habs fans rejoice at the signing of Brian Gionta.
Habs fans freak out at the signing of Mike Cammalleri.
Habs fans throw up about the signing of Hal Gill.
Habs fans have no reaction to the signing of Jaroslav Spacek.

July 10th 2009: Paul Mara and Travis Moen sign with the Habs, Max Pacioretty and Ryan O’Byrne both burst into tears.

September 30th 2009:
Habs fans everywhere anticipate how their new team will fair, they’re all optimistic, if they can stay healthy they might have a chance.

October 1st 2009: Entire island of Montreal let’s out a collective ‘eff’.

November 8th 2009: Carey Price and Jaroslav Halak have been battling for the number one spot since the start of the season. When asked about this Carey Price diverts the question and promptly puts on all 87 of his new masks in succession, with a detailed commentary about each one. Meanwhile, Halak is on the phone with his agent, asking him why he doesn’t have cool masks like Carey. Halak’s agent signs up for twitter.

November 23rd 2009: The pride and joy of the French Canadian media Guillaume Latendresse is traded to Minnesota for a guy they can learn to love; Benoit Pouilot. Jacques Demers cries, Bertrand Raymond punches a hole in a wall, and RDS changes Canadiens Expresse to ‘Guillaume Expresse”

December 4th 2009: Habs centennial game is a huge success for all except Bob Gainey...who failed to sign lucrative Free Agents when they were right under his nose.

January 1st 2010: Team Burke-SA announces the Men’s Ice Hockey roster for the 2010 Olympics in Vancouver omitting Habs forwards Gionta and Gomez. Gionta regrets not signing with the Leafs now more than ever.

Present day: You all realize that this blog is amazing and want to keep reading for years to come.

Until next time...keep laughing.


  1. OBJ.. LOVE the comment about pricey and his 87 masks being rocked in succession. I could only imagine his stoney-eyed, drugged, and speechless look as he switched from one to the other. Great blog... being added to the list.

  2. Mike fuken amazing!!!
    simon miss u man