Things Carey Price has Learned/Noticed while riding the Bench

Things Carey Price has Learned/Noticed while riding the Bench
It’s no secret that Jaroslav Halak has won the starting job from Carey Price. While Jaro spends his days making Pierre Gauthier’s job a living hell, Carey has been riding more pine than a horny lumberjack. It can get to be pretty boring sitting down and doing nothing for games on end, so Carey did us a favour and put a list together of things he’s noticed/learned while being glued to the bench these past few weeks.

- The Bell Centre scoreboard is slightly bigger than the TV I have in my apartment.

- Apparently Jaro can’t tell the difference between Regular Gatorade and Human Gatorade.

- Kirk Muller’s hair has exactly 38 different shades in it.

- Jacques Martin has no style.

- This guy named Jean Beliveau has awesome seats, I wonder why?

- Pierre McGuire’s head is way too small for his body; he looks like that guy from ‘Men In Black’
after Tommy Lee Jones blew his head off.

- They say celebrities go to Kings games in LA but the only one I saw was Jay Leno, and he’s not a celebrity anymore.

- As far as I know, Youppi is not a real animal.

- The Energie Cardio people keep singing the wrong words to that song. It drives me crazy every time.

- Polo on ice would not catch on in North America. Hahaha Horse skates.

- It must cost the Molson Brothers a fortune to pay the salaries for 21,273 coaches for every home game.

- Opposing teams’ back up goalies do not like to partake in cross-rink staring contests.

- I invented a new game. Every time Maxime Lapierre fights I donate 1 Million dollars to Haiti.

- Don’t try to throw a white sheet over you and walk around the Bell Centre pretending to be a ‘Forum Ghost’. Everyone will know it’s you.

- The Refs don’t like it when I sneak in to their locker room before the game and turn their Mics on when they’re not looking.

- They ALSO don’t like it when I bring my own whistle.

- Eating at 3 Amigos before the game is a terrible idea.

- I think it’s weird how nobody noticed that they misspelled ‘Gainey’ on his retirement banner....probably not on purpose.

And his most insightful thought of all...

-Why don’t they sell Poutine at the Bell Centre? I feel like that would sell huge.