New Habs Products

Well the Habs have been eliminated from the 2010 playoffs but me typing this in late May rather than mid April is a feat on its own....right? The Habs accomplished a hell of a lot more than the world thought they would and as a result several companies have come a-knocking! If something is hot you have to take advantage of it. Thankfully Mr. Molson and his posse of advertising and marketing execs know this and have been working tirelessly with several outside organizations to take advantage of the Canadiens’ success. People outside of most of the NHL markets know who the Canadiens are now (thanks PTI!) and it’s high time for there to be some recognizable products out there with the Habs logo splashed all over them.

Here are some of the more popular products that are hitting the shelves soon!

The iHab- Being one of the world’s leading entertainment and technology companies; Apple has released the Habs Fans’ dream product. The iHab is the one stop shop for everything Montreal Canadiens. It holds a video library of every Canadiens game ever played, a game that puts you in the skates of the pre-game flag kids, and an exclusive app (similar to the t-pain app) that allows everything you say into the iHab come out sounding like the European player of your choice! A slight snag occurred in the marketing for the product when the black silhouette of Sergei Kostitsyn used in one of the commercials promptly sits down and demands a full minute instead of a 30 second spot.

Maxim Lapierre’s Ultimate Punch Out- Exclusively for the Nintendo Wii, Maxim
Lapierre’s Ultimate Punch chronicles the ventures of the young sparkplug as he makes his way across the NHL fighting league’s most prominent brawlers. Derek Boogaard, Daniel Carcillo, George Parros, Jody Shelley, and Colton Orr among other NHL Heavyweights are all in the game, but their presence is only there for Lappy to veer away from them and go after the weaker and smaller players. The game takes forever to beat as the game ends when you actually get Lapierre to fight.

New Iron Man Suit- Marvel has already gotten started on the third chapter of the
Iron Man series and have worked with the Habs to make a new suit for Tony Stark. The suit is a ‘trump card’ suit, meaning that when Tony is up against all odds and has only one chance at victory he dons this suit. Marvel says that ‘the suit is pretty much invincible. It never wears down, and it’s cheap to operate. Josh Gorges was nice enough to donate his entire body to the film as the suit itself is just Tony Stark immersed in Josh Gorges.

Old Navy Clothing Line- Old Navy called up Jeff Molson with an interesting proposal, and Molson jumped at the opportunity without hesitation. Coming the Fall, Old Navy’s 2010 ‘Back To School’ Collection will feature ads with Brian Gionta, Scott Gomez, and Mike Cammalleri. They will be playing teenagers in the ads, who are upset about going back to school until their moms come home with rad new clothes from Old Navy!

Montreal Canadiens Nascar- The Habs have upped some big cash and paid to be the main sponsor on a stock car in the Nascar circuit. The car is small, but packs a punch...kind of. No matter the driver, the car sits in the middle of the pack the entire race, makes a push for the top of the pack near the end, but fades out in the last ten laps to finish in the top 16. By some weird outcome the car finishes in the top 4 in Nextel cup rankings.

The Andrei Kostitsyn Invisibility Cloak- Pairing with Warner Bros. and Harry Potter, The Habs have developed the Andrei Kostitsyn special edition Invisibility Cloak. Everyone will still be able to see the person wearing it, but the cloak is heavy and restricting, making the wearer useless in all situations.

Travis Moen Do-It-Yourself Suture Kit-Remember when Travis Moen looked like a baseball? The American Red Cross and Home Depot remember as well. In a combined effort the two organizations allow tough guys everywhere to emulate Travis Moen’s manliness and sew up their minor cuts themselves. We here at Habs Laughs know he didn’t sew himself up, but he would have if he didn’t have those bulky gauntlets on.

Jaroslav Spacek Speak ‘N Spell- Texas Instruments stepped up big on this one, bringing Jaro Spacek into the studio to record all 26 letters of the alphabet to be featured in this limited edition product. After 2 weeks on the shelves TI recalled all of them due to ‘excess creepiness’.

And the biggest earner...

The Carey Price Confidence Booster Shooting Target- Carey Price lends his likeness to this life size cut-out which pins up nicely in your standard street/ice net. Young players can practice their shot aim on Carey. As an added confidence booster, the kids (or kids of all ages) can enjoy the pleasures of every shot going in no matter what.